Showing posts with label Definitions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Definitions. Show all posts

Saturday, February 23, 2019

Auschwitz

The world stood still for a few days, it was as if there were no one around. Their tired eyes sought God and lamented about divine justice.

For they were innocents who wore their hearts on their sleeves, the ones who had not learnt how to deceive with a serpent's tongue or act like a dove.

They bore their yokes without even a murmur and none ever saw them cry. Not that their shoulders crumbled with the weight but only became stronger.

Now, they look like zombies lost in a mad world of dictators and strange chatter.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018

Absence

 

 

 

It seems like ages ago since we walked together in the rains. When you looked at me, it was as if a world had moved and a new chapter began in our epic story. You and I have changed faces, shapes and lives altogether in the meantime. 

 

In those days, your name was a chant that I would utter from morning till I lie down at night, imagining your arms around me.In those days, being away from you was never an agony for you were always around; at least I was so sure of your heart’s desire to be with me all the time. 

 

Now, eons later, I wither in the agony of your absence, howling at times, weakened by a love that needs togetherness as much as it needs assurance.Now, a desire to be with you overwhelms every feeling that I have ever known, much to my angst.

Monday, September 03, 2018

Bitterness




This little life has known ups and downs and plateaus. There were moments of great strife when the mind showed great courage and lived life to the fullest. Slump was the result when there was nothing to fight for and normal life was lived when days were all the same with nothing eventful between waking up and going to sleep.
Occasionally, there were those nightmarish times when it turned into nothing but a series of misfortunes one after another, when the heart had to face troubles all by itself and there was nobody who could help or listen. It was such a point of life, a quieter me evolved, who does not explain herself to anybody or anything and is happy with whatever life drops in these outstretched pair of hands.
How will you know, who became a tormented soul so late unlike me, one who has tormented each and every one of your listeners every day with your contagious chalice of bitterness about being open-minded and living in the moment? I have my days of bitterness; but looking carefully I understand that all these words of bitterness were a whiff from your putrefaction.

Monday, July 16, 2018

Us




In a way, each story has the same kernel in it- our dreams, hopes and longing all lost and found again- the fire and the smiles and the hopes that love kindles and brings joy.

The stories that we write are not what really happened or events that could really happen. These come from an imagination that loves to wander and see what would have happened if!

Sometimes, it is sunshine and laughter outside; depends on the state of this mercurial soul. The reality looms large taking everything away and sometimes giving blessings unasked for.

Your stories reveal the joy of finding happiness in new things, which are in fact, new ways to name the old likes and loves while I harp on change and about moving on but have stayed in the same year where I stopped learning.

The fire still burns in these kernel stories of love, longing and loss so much that our words have intertwined the threads of our many lives forever. 

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Angst



Your words fill my heart with a strange emotion; it’s like seeing me in a mirror, a million crossroads ago. The words bring new possibilities that I had lost and may be with a sleight of hand, with a sudden twist, I want a victory in life, not beautiful words in multiple colours strewn across pages and pages of separation and absence.


The bondages don’t matter anymore nor the daily actions that need so many juggling roles; one to another switching lines and changing masks. Your angst matches mine and tears rise up in my eyes when I realise that what matters really is flying out of mazes, free and wild, without ever getting burnt in the riot of ecstatic freedom.


Time freezes and I always go back to the day we spoke; more or less clueless as to emotions; yet in a strange way feeling the way how words do not make sense any longer with the baggage that I carry and the familiar way in which my eyes longed to see what I saw till the magic was broken and the moment gone.


Many seconds passed before I felt what it is to come back before you and get back the same lovelorn gaze; many days, months, years may pass with the moment gone; while the writer’s words say it all, wasting away lives and crossroads all in the name of a love that never found a way to the lips, all in the name of a love that is so you and so me; and so perfect  

Tuesday, January 09, 2018

Numbness


This was a path this heart had long forgotten;
Yet you taught me how to tread this again.
In this twilight, you have disappeared quietly
Just when I thought the dawn was so near. 


Tell me why this heart doesn't beat the same way,
Why it does not feel the same way it did with you.
The dream was so beautiful though I asked nothing,
Yet there was a magical aura that surrounded us.

Under the stars, there was a beautiful unwritten story,
Everyday, in those countless dreams we wove in words,
Though you and I never saw each other in reality
Nor did I ever get a chance to know your name or face.

In a few weeks' time you had won over this heart,
Brought back its music and then disappeared again.


Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Rebellion

You took me for an obedient being one day, when you saw me obey every single word of my master. Not that this heart does not know rebellion, it knew how to burn down worlds in its fury or even bring down the mighty, in its good old days.

It once knew how to fly past the countless mazes even though that meant it had to carry charred wings throughout its later life. It knew how to live without a word of love or encouragement  and yet to look at criticism with equanimity.

Now,  I have lost my belief in prayers for they move no mountains or molehills but has not lost its habit of recognising miracles placed in its way.

Saturday, December 02, 2017

Tribute


You'd a bag of tricks that could amaze all with a green thumb that could turn the ground you touched into fertile gardens. For the one much-awaited blessing of a child in life, you must have got more in recompense.

Your betel-stained mouth gave off a crooked smile when others showered praise on you but you looked only at the praise of nature that took the form of many-hued blossoms and buds.

Life was never smooth for you; your angst at not having a generation to follow created worry lines on your face. But death was smooth; you never even knew that there were many who cried and could not believe that you were gone forever.

Disbelief in the fact that the roses will bloom no longer in the way you could make it happen. For more than a green thumb, you'd certain ways of caring that took the form of gifts such as fresh roses and saplings.

It's a sad world that you left behind-your friends who have not slept nights and days and might burst out crying on seeing a rose for it was only in the end that you endeared yourself to others in a way that others can only envy.

Iconoclast


You broke all rules around you to find a life of your own causing pain and hurt to those who loved you more than their own lives. But then in the years that came, you compromised your originality and rebellion for what others wanted you to do. If your life was written in rules throughout I wouldn’t have minded but you were wild and free and impish all your life.

When you listen to others and conform to their likes, somehow all your words feel hollow because beneath your strength you always carry that childish desire to please and to do nothing else. Why is that the common rules that others follow do not apply to either you or me? But it irks me when I listen to your speeches on how things should be or your concern about what others think about the minutest details of our lives. Don't you think that this habit of being foolishly brave and bravely foolish is your gift to me?

You have often told others of how wrong I am and how I have hurt you feeling that others who listen will sympathize with your plight. Whatever you may tell others and whatever others might tell me through their words and their behavior, this life will be just as it is- calm and secluded from the lies and manipulations of this cruel world.

Workspace



After almost ten days of break into the real world in the form of a writing workshop that made me quite chirpy and talkative, I am back to my writing space, where three unfinished projects lie waiting my perusal. These three have never been even once out of mind though they were out of sight all these days.

I find that I have difficulty starting my work. I'm confused as to what to do first. Do I need to motivate myself by reading some good self-help book? A lot of options flash in the mind. But the last thing I want to do is to check my mail and get distracted for the rest of the day.

Finally, I decide to write the indecision by writing down my inability to start my work. Hope it helps.

Seeds



You were always fond of flowers and one of my daydreams revolved around you taking interest in my beautiful garden that had roses at that time. Now the dream is gone; so are the roses. In a totally different terrain, I try planting seeds of hope; but everyday they are dried by the scorching sun and the cruel winds of habit. This dream will never be, I have discovered in these months of despair, when each seed of hope have brought more tears and more waiting.

Imperceptible

Today, imperceptible is the word that comes to my mind when I think about the few days that we spent together. For the last few months, since our first introduction on that narrow staircase by a common friend, our world was bound together by successes and failures of an opposite kind. 

Our failures and successes made a grand total; for it was strange how you won where I failed and I won where you failed. No two people could be so different in their attitudes to life; a pair of opposites in every single detail. Yet yesterday when you walked out of that door, I felt that the world has changed for me. 

The world that we built up with our daily chatter, quiet confidences and silly laughter exists in memory and there’s no way I can shed tears on my fondness; for that will make it too different from what I have known. Yet the whole credit goes to you, my dear friend, in making the world alive, all these unforgettable months.



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