Daily

My heart has always yearned to explore the world with you by my side-to wander through uncharted lands, to discover hidden gems of beauty and to find beauty in the simplest of things. I have always dreamed of waking up next to you by my side and watch the streak of dawn across the sky.

One of my deepest desires is to visit my ancestral home near the River Green, to witness the majestic snakeboats gliding effortlessly across the water during the Onam festival. I long to feel the cool water envelop me, to laugh like a carefree child, and to relive the joy of my childhood.

I also hope to visit the old graveyard where my loved ones rest, to pay my respects to those who have passed on, and to remember the stories of their lives. Perhaps, in the silence of the graveyard, I will find a glimpse of the love and beauty that has been lost with time.

My dreams are not just about places and experiences, but also about the emotions and connections that make life worth living. I yearn to find love again, to rediscover the beauty that has faded with time, and to relearn the art of smiling like a child, with abandon and joy.

And, maybe, I'll find the courage to wear a spot of sindhoor on my forehead, like a newly wed woman, with pride and happiness in my heart. To feel the warmth of love and connection, to know that I am cherished and to radiate joy and contentment.

These are my dreams, my desires, and my hopes- to live life to the fullest, to love without fear, and to find beauty in every moment, with you by my side.

handpicked

You cherish the Earth's palette: mud's earthy brown, leaves' vibrant emerald, sky's brilliant blue, ocean's soothing aquamarine, and sunset's golden hues. Like an expert buyer of sarees, you select unique drapes that whisper stories. Your eyes settle on a saree that captivates you and its pattern talks of a lifelong desire.

You marvel at how a maiden's love entranced her beloved, their hands entwined through life's joys and sorrows. Memories of your own youthful bridehood glow, basking in his love. Your heart skips a beat recalling his enchanted expression when you wore his favorite hue.

You remember his gaze of wordless wonder when you wear a beautiful saree he had bought for you. You recall his face when he first saw you in a saree and how he had looked at you in wonder. Inspired by this memory, I choose a neelakurinji printed drape waiting to bring that same awestruck look on his face. 

The Unsent Letters

Dear Sean,

I remember the first letter you wrote me like it was yesterday. The way you wove a story around our bond, which was surprising as it had left me wondering if it was just a tale or a glimpse into the magic that existed between us. I recall the spark in your eyes when I asked if the story was about us, and the shy smile that spoke volumes about your feelings.

As I read your words now, I'm taken back to that moment, and I'm filled with a sense of nostalgia and longing. The texture and appearance of the notebook paper may be etched in your memory, but for me, it's the emotions and thoughts that you poured onto those pages that have stayed with me. Your letter was more than just a story; it was a declaration of the connection we shared, a connection that has only grown stronger with time.

I'm grateful for the countless letters, stories, and poems that have followed- each one a testament to the love and affection that we share. In a world, where time and circumstance can sometimes pull us apart, your words have been a constant reminder of the bond that we created long back. I still cherish the memories we created, and though apart, how the memories bring back a love story full of unconditional love for each other.

With all my love,

Berry

The Unsent Letters

Dear Sean

You remember the first letter that I wrote you? It was in the form of a story and I thought like in a story that I had read, there be will be countless letters and stories and poems all written for you, till the day I die. Here, years later I still remember the texture and appearance of the notebook paper that i had at that time and the way you had asked me if the story was about the magic between you and me. I was too embarrassed to answer directly and it was from my shy smile that you read about what I really felt about you, that day once upon a time in our world of togetherness. 

Love

Berry

self love

Us

I have a self that knows years of sense and more nonsense. I stand alone in crowds yet walk with you in green fields at the same time. I run in many new paths sitting at my armchair though I never leave my  world but for fresh signs or old paths.

You are my other self, whom I do not know for I have never seen you as you really are, for I was struck blind by your light. and love was something that naturally followed. You were not with me in the physical sense  yet I know you were with me in each and every circle round the holy fire and will find you near me in every dream. 

You are my favourite daydream that I return to time and again just to hold your hand in an unreal realm where rules don't matter and hearts speak only the truth. In another world, in a different circle of life, you and I will win our eternal game of love and may understand each other perfectly well. For us, time and space have never been important concerns for both of us and all that remains is the sense of unconditional love for the self and the other. 

the unsent letters

Dear Sean

This year, i decided to move on with my life leaving you and our relationship made up of whatever dreams that we built it upon. I am feeling very hopeful about this transition and encourage myself for making a good move. But, as I am settled in my thoughts, the whole place smells of you and the perfume that you were wearing in the days when I was with you and suddenly my resolve feels weakened and I believe I am going to be in love with you forever.

Love
Berry

Beannacht: A Blessing for the New Year

For Josie

On the day when

The weight deadens

On your shoulders

And you stumble,

May the clay dance

To balance you.

And when your eyes

Freeze behind

The grey window

And the ghost of loss

Gets in to you,

May a flock of colours,

Indigo, red, green,

And azure blue,

Come to awaken in you

A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays

In the currach of thought

And a stain of ocean

Blackens beneath you,

May there come across the waters

A path of yellow moonlight

To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,

May the clarity of light be yours,

May the fluency of the ocean be yours,

May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow

Wind work these words

Of love around you,

An invisible cloak

To mind your life.

[Note: "Beannacht" is the Gaelic word for "blessing." A "currach" is a large boat used on the west coast of Ireland.]

candid chats

I really miss the days when people texted more than Yes, No, ok, and what? and abbreviations and short forms than send meaningful long sentences, properly capitalised, spelt and spaced meaningfully. May be you might think that I am a purist but this craving exists to get a well written letter or a handwritten page. 

I remember there were friends who could match wit with wit, anger with anger and repartee with repartee, all in matter of seconds and you could roll in laughter at the words they said. You look with nostalgia at the SMSes that could make your day. 

I really miss those texts in words, invites, reminders, emails and missing you messages not the rebus that you read these days. I think 

want2cu2moro is good enough but I think might like a longer text that goes: I missed you a lot today, my dear and want to see you tomorrow. Please stand near the tabeubia tree where we usually meet. 

I love your meaningful silences and how you read me without using words. But, I want to hear what you think, that too unedited and free.I want to read messages that are honest and unedited showing exactly what you think and about what you want. 

Most of the time, I want to have candid chats with you, ones that stay with me all the time and ones that could keep me warm throughout the wintry days. 

words

From a grid of words for the coming year 2025, I found the following words at first glance: positive change, romance, peace, healing, wisdom, success, solution, blessings, change, fulfillment, enlightenment and love. I think I need wisdom to grow older and wiser in Your love and many other blessings from Your hand to survive even a single day. I am grateful for all the good and the bad that happened this year treating both sorrows and joys as lifelessons.

It's not time yet to write a full year review but then writing wise, I think I am blessed for there are new kinds of writing I have tried including a collaboration with AI. Then, there are questions about love and relationships that have stayed in the mind written in the form of posts that were answered by many voices through posts. These palinodies have served as a kind of letter responses to my collected thoughts. I am glad that there are answers and parodies or even better writing with the same thoughts in them.

Happy to read Lavender Pen and JmStorm when read feels like a personal letter to your self and like always thank you for all the good songs learnt this year!

gratitude

This time of the year is very sacred as it marks a transition time between the years, bidding goodbye to 2024 and welcoming the new year 2025. It is a time to retreat and get your focus on what was really great about the last year and writing your gratitude list for all the blessings that have come your way. It also is a time for setting the tone for the next year and trying to make the most of it. It is the time to go inward and meet people who kindle your inner fire and do activities that will make you glow with inner light. You can also meet people whom you value during the new year and let yourself feel loved, understood and appreciated. 

Language

Do you mean the words you say?
Do we speak the same language?
Do we comprehend each other?
Do we share the same world?

For a while thought I was fluent in you;
Yet found out that we are from two worlds
Two different worlds of understanding
Where we do not speak the same tongue.

Nor do we comprehend each other,
Not any longer,  since we are strangers-
You come from your dark cave
And I still move in crests and troughs.

We, both come together again and talk

Trying our best to understand each other. 

Journal: Serious and Trivial

The pages of my journal await to record a few thoughts. These could serious, trivial or even a mixture of both just like life. All these rambling thoughts were gathered from the same quixotic heart that has loved to dream, to fly, to win and to keep.

The serious thoughts were all about love and the longing to be with the one you love and the need to make him your heart's anchorage and sacred space, how from a chance

acquaintance he grew into my world and how this love is celebrated in an alternate universe of togetherness. 

The trivial thoughts were scribbled on early mornings as a bundle of words in the dream journal as a celebration of the pure delight of being alive, when a burst of fresh air, a bit of bright blue sky or a belief in the goodness of life were more than enough to keep this heart on cloud nine. 

But the best ones are the mixed ones, a little serious and a little trivial about things that celebrate the joy of life that finds room in today's dream journal. 

Rebus Writing

A Lament about Lost Love: Unravelling the Heartache in K R Meera's "The Poison of Love"

Love like milk sours with time, leaving behind a trail of heartache and longing. K R Meera's poignant novella, "The Poison of Love," masterfully weaves a tale of tragic love, as embodied by the protagonist, Tulsi.

Tulsi's story is one of duty versus desire, as she finds herself torn between the comfort of familiarity and the thrill of passion. Her choice to elope with Madhavan, rather than marrying the dependable Vinayan, sets off a chain of events that ultimately leads to her downfall.

Through Meera's evocative prose, we experience the intoxicating allure of Madhavan's love, as well as the crushing despair that follows its demise. The author's vivid descriptions of desire and heartache are matched only by her unflinching portrayal of Madhavan's treachery, leaving Tulsi to pick up the shattered remnants of her life.

As Tulsi's transformation from loving wife to grieving sadhvi unfolds, we witness the devastating consequences of her all-consuming love. The novella's non-linear narrative masterfully captures the fragmented nature of memory, as Tulsi's recollections of her marital life blur the lines between past and present.

Translated from Malayalam by Ministhy S., "The Poison of Love" is a haunting exploration of love's destructive power. This poignant tale of lost love will resonate deeply with anyone who has ever experienced the bittersweet pain of heartache.

13 Steps to Bloody Good Health

This book written by Dr. Mukesh Batra and Ashwin Sanghi gives you some tips on how to become healthy and energetic by taking 13 steps in that direction:

1. Sleep: Getting adequate sleep is necessary for maintaining your health. The book advises you to have a good sleep and gives you tips on how to enhance the quality of your sleep- by blocking out noise and light, taking melatonin supplements, following a routine, exercising regularly, managing room temperature, avoiding heavy meals and alcohols or stimulants before bedtime, limiting fluid intake and sleeping on a comfortable mattress and pillows. 

2. Hydrate: In order to stay healthy you need to drink at least two to three glasses of water per day. Water helps you detox, ensures that your kidneys function properly, cleans your gut, promotes weight loss, reduces water retention, regulates blood pressure and cholesterol, lubricates your joints, reduces allergies and headaches, reduces instances of kidney stones, improves mental performance, and improves skin condition and complexion. 

3. Nourish: A balanced diet is very crucial for maintaining good health though you need to eat with sense and in moderation. Your daily diet needs to have grains, vegetables, legumes, fruit, dairy and lean meats. 

4. Move: Exercise improves your mood, helps you sleep better, promotes weight loss and heart health, regulates blood sugar and has several other health benefits. The book advises you to have at least thirty minutes of physical activity five times a week. 

5. Digest: For having good health, you need to eat nutritious food and also maintain your gut health by taking more Fibre, avoiding antibiotics, ensuring timely bowel movements, exercising, avoiding processed foods, reducing gluten intake, using prebiotic and prebiotic, adding fermented foods to your diet eating slowly and preventing a leaky gut. 

6. Alkalise: In order to maintain good health, alkalinity is required and a balanced pH has several benefits for the human body. These include reduces internal inflammation, greater protection from heart disease, lower diabetes risk and stronger bone density. In order to achieve a balanced PH you can lower your intake of acidic goods, consume an alkaline diet, drink alkaline water, lower your medicine intake, manage stress as well as digestion. 

7. Breathe: Practice deep breathing exercises and you can improve your health by including these as part of your daily routine. These benefits include calming the lungs, lowered heart rate, releasing toxins, lowering blood pressure, improving sleep, strengthening immunity, improving digestion and enhancing memory. 

8. Supplement: You can take supplements such fish oil, prebiotic, vitamin D, magnesium, brahmi, protein, calcium, ajwain, ashwagandha, Holding, zinc, elaichi, jeera, mulethi, manjistha, neem, iron, vitamin C, delphinium, spiraling, glucosamine, tulsi and sesamin. 

9. Love: You need to have self- love and a positive self-image in order to have good health. This means completely accepting who you are and what you are. To love yourself, you need yo remind yourself that you are important, stop blaming yourself for things that go wrong, do things that make you happy every day and create a support system. You can improve your relationship with your partner by taking necessary steps to increase intimacy and keeping the playful element alive. 

10. Prevent: Rather than trying to cure your health issues, it is better to prevent them from occurring by taking steps when you see the first symptoms of ill health. Get medical checkups regularly and some of the routine blood tests to check the good functioning of the body. 

11. Moderate: You have live in moderation especially when it comes to work, device use, food, alcohol, exercise or even relationships . Digital moderation is relevant especially in the current scenario when people are glued to their devices all the time. According to a US study, a person spends around 4 hours a day on the phone and you need to limit your time to have better health. 

12. Relax: Stress can create a rush of hormones into the bloodstream resulting in various diseases. You can learn relaxation response through breath focus, body scan, mindfulness meditation, guides imagery, chanting, yoga or tai chi, massage therapy, laughter therapy, hydrotherapy, aromatherapy, music and art therapy and biofeedback. 

13. Rejoice: Do things that make you happy. You can do it by invest in relationships, set realistic goals for yourself, be nice to people, have fun, eat sensibly, exercise, cultivate optimism, live in the moment, practice relaxation techniques, feel relaxation techniques, feel attractive, laugh, talk, develop resilience, focus on positives and avoid negativity. More than becoming happy, you need to develop an attitude of contentment by becoming grateful for the life you have while fighting for the life you want. It also means learning to make the best of the resources available in life. 

The book gives you 13 steps on creating emotional and physical health. 

#drmukeshbatra

#13stepsseries

#ashwinsanghi

Journal: Serious and Trivial

The pages of my journal await to record a few thoughts. These could serious, trivial or even a mixture of both just like life. All these rambling thoughts were gathered from the same quixotic heart that has loved to dream, to fly, to win and to keep.

The serious thoughts were all about love and the longing to be with the one you love and the need to make him your heart's anchorage and sacred space, how from a chance

acquaintance he grew into my world and how this love is celebrated in an alternate universe of togetherness. 

The trivial thoughts were scribbled on early mornings as a bundle of words in the dream journal as a celebration of the pure delight of being alive, when a burst of fresh air, a bit of bright blue sky or a belief in the goodness of life were more than enough to keep this heart on cloud nine. 

But the best ones are the mixed ones, a little serious and a little trivial about things that celebrate the joy of life that finds room in today's dream journal. 

Dedication

You are my summer love, my love felt in the blood once upon a time in fairy land. I think I was living in the hundred acre woods with pooh, piglet and rabbit, that's how naive I was. 

You were like the rains during summer and you came with thunder and lightning and I remember the tiniest details we shared. May be we shared a bond where everything about the other person mattered a lot. 

You came with the rains and I became like an earth woman dancing to the rhythm of the raindrops on my tin roof. I remember how I would lie awake and listen to the pitter-patter of the rain outside and then go to sleep with nothing but your thoughts. 

The clouds still heave and burst into tears, every now and then and I still remember how I was like an earth blossoming after the rains. have never got a chance to tell you how much you mean to me for I want to hold your hand and tell you affectionately how you mean the world to me yet all I could do was to write some words scribbled on a page. Yet you are special by the way you bring back music to me; for I’d never forget that one day, when you made me understand that I had forgotten how to sing.

Every day, from dawn to dusk, your name is like a talisman that I keep safe from the world, till words form one by one and fill these blank pages. In an imaginary realm, I have walked with you across ages and from that moment became your soul mate and your only love. I would run your smile, every word you said and one little cryptic messages to each other and your funny way with words. 

May be this love stays with you for it was a perfect way to understand yourself and to grow in ways you never really understand. May this love was a constant solace that you ran to when beset with your world of worries and though near or apart stays with you as a special bond to look forward to, though we our bond does not have a name that the world understands. 

If I meet you in person, I want to tell you that you are my yellow and with all the words that I write, I love you more than anything else in the world and that I value your presence in my life. 

Girl in the Painting

This painting told the story of a girl who won the heart of the guy she wanted and how she turned into a woman from a naive young girl in a short span of time. Her song spoke of how her heart remained his in every circle around the sun till death separated them. Her song of triumph about how she overcame obstacles in her path of love was depicted in the painting for all to see. 

home

Once again, you are back in the city that you grew up in and you know it like the palm of your hand. You love exploring its nooks along with your friend and you just love the comfort of your favourite hangouts such as the Museum or the coffee houses or roads.

These are the same places you have walked along with your friend on your daily walks from the bus stop to your house and the hangouts that you shared from college days sharing the cutlets and coffees from the Indian Coffee House.

When you were away for an year, you missed the fun, the food and the feel of your city. You missed the coffeeshops, the evening walks in the museum compound, the sweets from your favourite sweetshops or even the ease with which you could find what you wanted.

You love this city where you grew up so much that when you see in it in a film, you feel thrilled that it was shot in your city. You love to learn the lores of this place and explore new places just to quench your wanderlust. And  you spend the evening roaming around in the museum compound smelling the evening air and munching chaat under the ancient trees and it feels like you have come home again.

#home
#trivandrum