Wednesday, August 10, 2022
In this middle age, I wonder how life has turned out to be, so different from the images that I had when someone asked me to imagine how life will be after ten years. I have always dreamt of you at my side as my life-partner, with two lovely children of ours to greet the days, a comfortable set of old friends to grow old together and a cosy little home that I took time to decorate with curios from the places we visited together as a couple and a huge library of all the books that we used to read.
But when I reached this milestone all I have is a history of losses- the disappointment of a broken love that almost came to fruition, the years spent trying to pull yourself back together, the indifference of your loved ones, the absence of real friends and the lacks that are spelt so clearly and in bold letters everyday. It has been years since you called anyone a friend as you have only acquiantances and you never offer a shoulder to cry as you used to do before nor ask solace from anyone despite of being miserable and broken. You wear a brave face in the crowds and break down miserably in your solitude as you plod on with your busy everyday life.
Then in the evenings and weekends you form a bond with your workmate and share the same sense of joy at the aroma of freshly ground coffee and piping hot Masala dosa at your favourite haunt, the old Coffee House in the city. On some busy days, you have to scream to make your companion understand what you are trying to say, all amidst the hustle and bustle of the staff in the old Coffeehouse, full of life.
Over a period of months, we form a unique bond, minus our histories and sad luggage, looking forward to what is served on the menu only with a common love shared for solitary hangouts be it an evening by the seashore or a quiet swim in the nearby river. Gradually, your sad face attains a brightness of being loved in return without knowing any of your past wounds and your time is spent in tasting the old brew of hot coffee and eating the same Masala dosas. We write a life of being in the moment -looking forward to our days of favourite comfort food at our favourite hangout.
Thursday, August 04, 2022
Sometimes, a person is remembered by the lives they touch especially in the field of medical care. Dr. K. Lalitha has been a leading doctor of Gynecology in Trivandrum and at least 1 lakh women have benefited from her service as a doctor. She has served in various government and private hospitals in Trivandrum.
As for me, I still remember the visits to her hospital when pregnant and the D day in the labour room, when after a long day of contractions, she advised me to do an epidural and brought the baby out through vacuum suction. She held the baby upside down and said, "It's a boy" and gave the crying baby to the nurse for cleaning. The days that followed were eventful especially with some post-delivery issues and she came running in the small hours of morning to attend me.
I think she belonged to the old school who encouraged new mothers to breastfeed till six months though she was quite informative on modern techniques of contraception which she spoke of later.
And three years later, I had this strange experience of milk coming out of my breasts though I had stopped breastfeeding. It happened to me when I was taking class and I had to go home because of the discomfort it brought. When I spoke to her, she asked me whether I had thought tenderly of my child when at work. She alluded to Kunti feeling the same when she saw Karna for the first time. We laughed together and I felt relieved. And, I thanked her and left with a lighter heart.
I still remember her genuine concern for her patients and the fondness with which she addresses people. May her soul rest in peace!
Saturday, July 30, 2022
Under the tender banyan tree
Who loves to sit with me,
And sing his soulful songs,
Watch the tender leaves flicker-
Come here, come here, come here!
Here we shall live
With no worries
All through this summer.
Our dreams soar sky high
Forever in the sunshine
Happy where we are
Happy with what we have
Come here, come here, come here!
Here we shall love
With no fears
All through this summer.
A bit of bright blue sky to sing aloud;
A pelt of rain to sleep comfortably;
A bit of thunder and lightning to look
And feel brave and happy at times.
The swooping airshow by the kites;
Caught by the eye and not on the lens,
The evening palettes in hues of blue,
That brings back some thoughts of you.
Like a chorus in a song, you play nonstop,
While I watch the skies and the rain,
Look at the fresh green banyan leaves
Turn wan in the summer sun like me.
The tiny heart-shaped leaves will flicker,
And our hearts will turn green once again.
Wednesday, July 27, 2022
Here are some of my favourites among the 25000 songs by the Nightingale of South India, KS Chithra
5. Aa rathri
13. Ponnil Kulichu
Thursday, July 21, 2022
Tuesday, July 19, 2022
Monday, July 18, 2022
I take in and give out nourishment in perfect balance. I am important. I count. I now care for and nourish myself with love and with joy. I allow others the freedom to be who they are. We are all safe and free.
• I see with love and joy.
• I now create a life I love to look at.
• I am now willing to see my own beauty and magnificence.
• Life is eternal and filled with joy.
• Harmony and joy and beauty and safety now surround this child.
• It is safe for me to see. I am at peace.
• I am safe in the here and now. I see that clearly.
• I see with love and tenderness.
• I accept Divine guidance and am always safe.
• I love and approve of myself right now.
• It is safe to be me. I express who I am.
• I have the power and strength and knowledge to handle everything in my life.
In this middle age, I wonder how life has turned out to be, so different from the images that I had when someone asked me to ima...