Conquer the self

Earth Hour 2018

The darkest hour

Angst

Your words fill my heart with a strange emotion; it’s like seeing me in a mirror, a million crossroads ago. The words bring new possibilities that I had lost and may be with a sleight of hand, with a sudden twist, I want a victory in life, not beautiful words in multiple colours strewn across pages and pages of separation and absence.

The bondages don’t matter anymore nor the daily actions that need so many juggling roles; one to another switching lines and changing masks. Your angst matches mine and tears rise up in my eyes when I realise that what matters really is flying out of mazes, free and wild, without ever getting burnt in the riot of ecstatic freedom.

Time freezes and I always go back to the day we spoke; more or less clueless as to emotions; yet in a strange way feeling the way how words do not make sense any longer with the baggage that I carry and the familiar way in which my eyes longed to see what I saw till the magic was broken and the moment gone.

Many seconds passed before I felt what it is to come back before you and get back the same lovelorn gaze; many days, months, years may pass with the moment gone; while the writer’s words say it all, wasting away lives and crossroads all in the name of a love that never found a way to the lips, all in the name of a love that is so you and so me; and so perfect  

A cup of coffee

When I drink you in like my cup of coffee;
With a little milk to bring in the right colour,
Strong flavoured robusta with sugar added,
In my large brown mug, with a tome in hand.

When I drink you in like my cup of coffee;
With slices of brown bread slightly toasted,
A little marmalade and butter thinly spread,
As I read the current tome that I’m reading.

When I drink you in like my cup of coffee;
I dream of your eyes that drank my desire,
My eyes stay on the page and the storyline
But my heart falls back on our little fantasy.

For another day, when I drink you like coffee,
When you sip my desire your eyes only on me.

A cup of coffee

Earth Hour 2018

The Present

The Night

Like sugar on my dark kitchen counter,
The night has spilled countless stars
And undressed fair jasmines in the bushes.

Life lessons

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A fairy tale

Your thoughts fill me with a strange emotion;
I wonder how the crossroads would have been
Had we been together from a lost point in life,
That with a sleight of your hand you destroyed.

For me, the world looks the same like before,
Except the angst of your absence is never gone,
The fear of losing you that had happened once,
That grips me and finds solace in many words.

But this heart still yearns the story to be true,
This love of years that you never openly show,
While my pages of separation and absence grow
Into thick books that need no real explanations.

Had you said a few words right, my dear friend,
This would have been a life of true devotion.