A good ending

She was like many of us, driven and strong

Who travelled not the well-beaten paths

But made it on her own through the foliage

In the process, lost old loves and found new.

The journey was never the same throughout,

There were really tough times that broke her

She trod step by step, day by day all along

Till she got what she wanted throughout life.

But when she met him again, her childhood mate

There was a spark of affection, pure unlimited

It was as if she wanted him to stay with her

With all the force of her childhood prayers.

It's with the same sense that we see her again

Beaming her childhood smile with him around.

A House for Mr. Biswas

He thought of the house as his own, though for years it had been irretrievably mortgaged. And during these months of illness and despair he was struck again and again by the wonder of being in his own house, the audacity of it: to walk in through his own front gate, to bar entry to whoever he wished, to close his doors and windows every night, to hear no noises except those of his family, to wander freely from room to room and about his yard, instead of being condemned, as before, to retire the moment he got home to the crowded room in one or the other of Mrs. Tulsi’s houses, crowded with Shama’s sisters, their husbands, their children. As a boy he had moved from one house of strangers to another; and since his marriage he felt he had lived nowhere but in the houses of the Tulsis, at Hanuman House in Arwacas, in the decaying wooden house at Shorthills, in the clumsy concrete house in Port of Spain. And now at the end he found himself in his own house, on his own half-lot of land, his own portion of the earth. That he should have been responsible for this seemed to him, in these last months, stupendous.

A House for Mr. Biswas (1961) is V.S. Naipaul’s third novel and deals with the life of Mohun Biswas, an Indian settler in Trinidad and his struggles to have a house of his own. Born the wrong way and considered to be unlucky by his parents, his prank leads to the death of his father. His mother and the four children are separated, Mohun taken into the care of his aunt Tara and her husband Ajodha. To earn a living, he works as a painter of signs and falls in love with Shama of the Tulsi family.

The Tulsi family is a joint family with the mother Mrs. Tulsi, her two sons, her sister and family, her fourteen daughters, their husbands and children, all living under the same roof. He longs for a house of his own and builds two, one of which blows off in the storm and the other catches fire. His struggles to have a house of his own that be “unaccomodated and unhoused” is the theme of the novel.

After years of poverty and humiliation, Biswas gets a job as a news reporter and his fortunes change. He saves money and when his son Anand is humiliated by Owad, the present Tulsi patriarch, he buys a house and takes Shama and his four children there. The house has so many faults that he did not notice but then it is his own and he dies there.

The novel portrays the lives of Hindus in the West Indies and the joint family system is humorously portrayed especially the nicknames that Mohun Biswas devises for his mother-in-law and his brother-in-laws. At the same time, there is pathos in the rootlessness and humiliation that a poor migrant has to suffer in an alien land. A House for Mr. Biswas combines both laughter and tears to depict a man’s attempt to find his self and his own "privacy and space" as Naipaul himself says in his BBC Interview.

Fulfilment

The Notebook

There are books that you might want to read time and again. Nicholas Spark’s The Notebook  (1996) is one of them. An old man reads out a story to an old woman in a nursing home. Though she is the Allie of the story that is being read, she does not recall it as she suffers from Alzheimer’s disease.

The story that he narrates is about a summer romance between Allie and Noah set against the backdrop of a small town in California. They have an intense passionate affair and he shows her his old family mansion that he wants to renovate. Her parents take away when they come to know about it and Allie leaves a message with his friend Fin that she loves him.  They get separated because of a difference in class as Allie comes from a rich aristocratic background.

Years later Allie gets engaged to Lon, a young and rich lawyer and is happy. Then, she sees an article about Noah and how he has restored his family mansion. She goes to see him without informing her mother or Lon.

The next morning, she finds her mother at the doorstep and she confronts Allie by reminding her of her engagement with Lon. They argue but she gives Allie a bundle of letters that Noah had written her over the years.

This surprises Allie as there are so many letters which he had written for almost a year and Ann says that she hadn’t given them to her because she found her to be too immature. 

Ann asks Allie to make a choice between Noah and Lon, what is she wants and what is good for her. She finds that though the years have changed them in so many ways, this time she is not ready to let go of what she wants.

Sparks, in his interviews about the book has said that he had modelled the story on his wife’s grandparents who had been married for around 60 years.

The film version of the book directed by Nick Cassavetes is equally memorable though it  focuses on Noah and Allie's love as a summer romance that gets a second chance and is as much about parenting guidelines for parents who discover their kids to be in love with unsuitable suitors from inappropriate social classes. The film is quite sensuous portrayed against luscious greenery and the countryside. 

The Wanderer

The Wanderer 

This heart has been a wanderer who loves to ramble and had ways where none existed before. It never understands the wisdom of other's words nor can a choose anything other than what it wants for itself. Sometimes, it creates raging fires in places where a soft little word would have done. 

Not that there were no mazes in the olden days. There were many that it burnt down or flew past, though not with a victorious smile or swelling pride but with quiet equanimity; it didn't have much left behind to boast of.

For years, it has searched for beauty in all places in the serenity of nature, in the spontaneity of a child's smile, or in the most beautiful thoughts where it has always dwelt. It has often wandered in the serenest places on earth, where it took in with amazement, the feeling of being so minute in a huge beautiful world. Sometimes, it has wandered alone, partly to its dismay and partly to create a pride in solitude. There were also times, when in another wanderer's eyes, it read solace, warmth and a strange delight.

World Menstrual Hygiene 28 May 2022

Menstrual Hygiene Day takes place on 28 May every year. It's a chance to highlight the importance of menstrual care, and raise awareness about the issues faced by those who don't have access to sanitary products.

Access to sanitary products, safe, hygienic spaces in which to use them, and the right to manage menstruation without shame or stigma, is essential for anyone who menstruates.

But for too many, that's not the reality. 

Menstrual Hygiene Day aims to break the stigma around menstruation, provide access to menstrual health education, and create the opportunity for all to have access to what they need to effectively manage their periods. To create a world where no women or girl is held back because they menstruate, by 2030” is the theme of the World Menstrual Hygiene Day 2022. “This means a world where every girl or women is empowered to manage her menstruation safely, hygienically, with confidence and without shame", the official website said. 

The vision is to create a world where: 

• Everyone has access to and can afford menstrual products of their choice.

• Period stigma and social discrimination are history.

• Everyone has basic information about menstruation, including men and boys. 

• Everyone can access period-friendly water, sanitation and hygiene facilities anywhere in the world. 

The 2022 campaign will use the #WeAreCommitted hashtag. It will be used by organisations across the world to publicly announce what they are committed to contribute to the overreaching goal and set an example for others to follow. 

Menstruation is one of the important and essential processes of a woman’s body that deserves utmost self-care. Proper hygiene during menstruation can help you to manage the pain and stay fresh during your periods. So, good menstrual hygiene should be your first priority.Be mindful about the period products you use. 

Not giving any attention down there during your menstrual cycle can be a breeding ground for germs and bacteria, and that can make you prone to vaginal infections. Even though the vagina is a self-cleaning organ of the body, you will still have to keep it clean. Here are some period hygiene measures which will help to stay happier during menstruation. 

For the benefit of young girls and women, Dr Manisha Singh offers menstrual hygiene tips that are important for their well-being. 

1. Changing sanitary napkins or tampons every 4-6 hours is the cardinal guideline for maintaining perineal hygiene 

Menstrual blood attracts a variety of organisms from our bodies, which multiply in the warm blood, causing discomfort, rashes, and urinary tract infections. By replacing your sanitary napkin or tampon at regular short intervals, you can avoid genital infections. 

2. Clean your perineal area (vaginal area) properly each time you change your napkin. 

Washing your vagina is extremely important because bacteria cling to your body after you remove your sanitary napkin. Most people wash their perineum but not correctly. It should be from the vagina to the anus, not vice versa. Germs from the anus can transfer to the vaginal or urethral entrance if you move your hands from the anus to the vagina. 

3. Avoid using soaps or other vaginal hygiene products 

While adding vaginal hygiene products to your routine is beneficial, using them during menstruation may cause complications. Vaginas have a cleansing system that works throughout menstrual cycles, and these artificial hygiene products may interfere with this natural process, resulting in infections and excess bad bacteria growth. 

4. Properly dispose the sanitary napkin 

Tampons and sanitary napkins must be disposed appropriately. Wrap them properly before throwing them away to avoid germs and illnesses from spreading. Make sure to not flush them since that will spread bacteria all over the place. Since you are likely to contact the soiled area when wrapping the used tampons and sanitary napkins, thoroughly washing your hands is critical post disposal. 

5. Switch over to silicone menstrual cups if you are comfortable inserting it into the vagina. 

It is cheap, safe, hygienic, and reusable (every month for up to 2 years). Ascertain the cup size you need from your gynaecologist and get started. Though doctors do not advise menstrual cups for very young girls. 

Come help create menstrual hygiene awareness among your community. Share this post on social media by using the following hashtags. 

#MHDay2022 

#WeAreCommitted

Life sentence

Biodiversity Day

Twinflame Prayer

May we recognise that we are not separate but whole even though we might not have even met. For you were always with me in each and every birth of mine and someday I might recognise you from the smile on your lips. 

May we meet someday somewhere and form an effortless harmonious bond. May we escape from the usual trials and tribulations that follow all twin flames. May our true love that spans several lifetimes set a path for us to be in harmony with each other. 

May we be fortunate to experience each other in all lifetimes, fortunate enough to feel the hunger of the flesh, the thirst of the soul and the comfort of the heart. May we remember with accuracy the touch of each other's skins, the smell of each other's bodies, the taste of each other's lips and the tone of each other's voices through eternity. 

May we be always together and in harmony with each other savouring each and every moment of this life together. May we always feel synchronicity and enjoy the paths that life sets in store before us. May we live together till the last breath lives from our earthly bodies to settle down in other realms of existence. 

May we love each other throughout all ages and all lives forever. May we learn unconditional love quite early enough so that we know each other's strengths and weaknesses and accept them open-heartedly without being judgmental. May we love, adore and cherish each other in our hearts. 

#twinflame

#reunion

#twinflamereunion 

#reunion

#improvisedtwinflameprayer

The Unsent Letters

Thunderstorm

The tiny yellow leaves in his hair made me feel a strange tenderness for him. It created in me a strange desire to run my fingers through his hair and to experience an intimacy that beckoned me like a forbidden dream. This need hit me like a thunderstorm, the first time I had gazed deep into his eyes. 

May be it was because he was waiting under the trees, may be because though he said he didn't wait much, but his eyes flickered with a strange delight when he heard my footsteps. It was as if he had missed me every moment of the weekend and his eyes might devour me with their hunger. 

Every time, I looked into his eyes, it was as if I I could hear the roar of the thunderstorm. For me, whose ears long for his words, whose eyes thirst for his gaze, whose heart longs for his embrace, whose skin hungers for his touch, the reality steps in and mutters that it is enough to hear this roar of the thunderstorm every single day.

Positive Affirmations

Positive Affirmations

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I now choose calmly and objectively to see my old patterns, and I am willing to make changes. I choose to react as though I have found a treasure when I discover something else to release.

I am teachable. I can learn. I am willing to change. I choose to have fun doing this.I see and feel myself changing moment by moment.Thoughts no longer have any power over me. I am the power in the world. I choose to be free. All is well in my world. 

Chance

Flow with the tide, not against it. When you feel that change is necessary, be willing to change and do not try to resist it. Be very flexible. Keep open, and never let your attitude be 'What was good enough for my parents is good enough for me.' Change will never come if that is your attitude, and changes must come. The new cannot fit into the old mould because the new has outgrown the old and needs more room. Give it more room by expanding with it. It need not be a painful process when there is no resistance. When a plant is pot-bound, it needs to be repotted to allow its roots to expand. When your consciousness has outgrown the old con ceptions, it needs to be allowed to expand into new realms. This process can come about very naturally; there need not be any stress or strain. Simply let go, relax and feel yourself changing and expanding as naturally as breathing, moving out of the old into the new.

We Are Free to Be Ourselves

In order to be whole, we must accept all of ourselves. So let your heart open and make plenty of room in there for all the parts of yourself. The parts you are proud of and the parts that embarrass you. The parts you reject and the parts you love. They are all of you. You are beautiful. We all are. When your heart is full of love for yourself, then you have so much to share with others. 

Let this love now fill your room and permeate out to all the people that you know. Put the people you want in the center of your room so that they can receive the love from your overflowing heart. From your child to theirs. Now see all the children in all the people dancing as children dance, skipping and shouting and turning somersaults and cartwheels, filled with exuberant joy. Expressing all the best of the child within.

She

Her heart is large enough
To hold you close to her;
For she is not of this world.

She is foolish in her ways;
Poundwise or pennywise;
For she is not of this world.

She didn't give me a staff
Nor a bag for my journeys;
For she is not of this world.

Nor enough to nourish me
Like the others did theirs.
For she is not of this world.

But she loved me enough
To let me learn by model
To learn lessons my way.

Mom

All I wanted was a book of recipes like yours
Like the one you kept like a hidden treasure,
On special occasions, you'd leave the kitchen
Smelling of spices, roast chicken and plum cake.

The wild shopping spree just before Christmas,
The cake-mixing at midnight done together,
The written recipes followed to the last line
The spontaneous tweaks to the plans that I make.

This book of magic is abandoned after this loss,
Though the Christmas flavours linger in the air,
Goodwill, happiness and merriment-the first time
I had celebrated Christmas with flavours at home.

The secret recipes, the love of wine and laughter
All are lessons that I have learnt from you, mom.

Icarus and the Sun

Anam Cara

Sometimes, the answer comes late for some seekers. The lonely roads may wear you out; the skies might turn bleak and hostile; the days might spent without ever having a soul to breathe your worries to. 

There is always this desire, the need for warmth, for compassion, for meaningless chatter and meaningful silences yet the road is quite lonely. 

Much later at a turnstile, you might meet a traveller in whose eyes you might see eternity, in whose warmth all your wanderlust might be kindled again, in whose extended hand you might see a soul connection. 

There might be others who have gone ahead and reached their destinations long ago but your blessing is that you value the wisdom taught by the lonely roads, the weary feet and the warmth of your long-desired for companion. 

Photo Courtesy: flickr.com

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

An interesting book that I recently came across is the spiritual classic The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. It is quite rare to encounter books that offer you spiritual wisdom that helps you come to terms with two tough realities; life and death. Here, Sogyal Rinpoche offers you words of enlightenment that helps you see both life and death in a new light.

Sogyal Rinpoche is one of the enlightened leaders of Tibetan Buddhism and was born in Kham in Eastern Tibet. He was recognised as the reincarnation of Terton Sogyal Lerab Lingpa, teacher to the thirteenth Dalai lama. His lifelong effort has been to make Tibetan Buddhism understandable to the common believers across the world.

In this book, he expresses with clarity and eloquence, the ancient wisdom of Tibet that has survived the test of time. He speaks of life and death with the same importance and describes how the Tibetan monks accept both with simplicity and open-mindedness. Despite of cultural differences, a reader might be interested in the Tibetan practices of life and death.

The preoccupation with death is a common theme in spiritual literature. However, in this book, Rinpoche speaks of death as an ultimate reality that everyone had to face and the ways in which we can prepare for our death, just like changing your clothes when they are worn out, as His Holiness the Dalai Lama says in his Foreword to the book. The writer speaks of the ways to understand the meaning of life, how to accept death and how to help the dying and the dead.

According to the Buddhist belief system, you will be reincarnated based on your karma and your state of mind at the time of death can influence the quality of your next rebirth. One tradition the Buddhist have is to achieve a peaceful death and help others achieve a peaceful death. Usually, death is treated with disdain in many cultures but the Buddhists embrace death with equanimity. However,the book reinforces the need to offer spiritual help for the dying so that they can die peacefully and in a state of contentment with life. It also helps one to live with mindfulness and compassion.

1

Diya P Na

Dear Diary

The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad

The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad by Twinkle Khanna

When I was reading Twinkle Khanna's The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad, what I found is that the writer shows an amazing perception of the character's needs without being so obvious about it. But googling about the work, what I saw is a kind of patronising attitude to a writer just because she is a celebrity daughter and wife apart from being an actress. However, the short stories are quite readable and the story that I loved tbe most in this collection is "The Sanitary Man from a Sacred Land".

The first among the four stories is "The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad" is about Lakshmi who wants ten jardalu trees planted for a girl child so that the child's future is secure right from her birth-"ten trees like the ten fingers which we women can hold our own destinies firmly in our hands". Thus begins the ritual of the jardalu, which is celebrated in her village with the birth of a girl child, when people from any caste, even those with no land of their own can plant trees for their daughters.

The second story "Salaam, Noni Appa" is about love that transcends all barriers. Noni Appa and Binny are two elderly women who live a life of seclusion. The elder sister Noni Appa is rather sweet on their yoga teacher Anandji. What starts as an eagerness to meet him, ends up as her sole reason to live. When Noni Appa is ill, Anandji leaves all his business aside, packs his luggage and comes to live with her. This story is very touching for one remembers the ambience of love that breaks all rules though the other stories are much more conventional.

"If the Weather Permits" begins in Kerala and is about Elisa Thomas, hailing from traditional Malayali Christian household. When forced to get married, she marries a photographer friend of hers but is disappointed when the bridegroom turns suicidal. Divorced, she gets married to Chacko, from a wealthy Christian family and shocked into a sense of deja vu. All she wants to know is whether she has to return to her ancestral home that smells of fish moilee.

The fourth story, according to me, is the best story of the collection. Ms. Khanna has based this story on Padma Shri Arunchalam Muruganantham who is a social worker who works hard to remove the taboos associated with menstruation. Bablu Kewat loves to bring surprises for his wife -"four bangles, a packet of orange bindis, a 5star chocolate". Saddened by the rag that she uses for her monthlies, he brings her pads and new kinds of experimental pads that are made of absorbent material. He questions the women of his acquaintance about their monthlies and this earns him the name pervert. His friends tease him that he should have been born a woman so that "it would have been so much easier to just test the pads yourself". But his determination wins and he becomes the inventor of the low-cost sanitray pad making machine.

The stories are varied in their themes but very endearing to the reader. What I feel is that the last among them is the most touching, of a man who wants to bring happiness to his wife and ends up being a hero to many Indian women from the nearby villages.

 #TwinkleKhanna 

#thelegendoflakshmiprasad

#love

#divorce

#geriatriclove

#menstruation

On Air

The way your memory creeps up before my eyes

The way you croon your favourite songs and mine,

The songs that have stayed despite the long years

Playful, naughty, sad, philosophical or just pleasant.

The songs that bring you back to me wherever I am

Wild dreams of being one with you body and soul

Spending endless hours in embraces like creepers

Despite the long sad years of absence and longing.

Though I long for our lost days with a heavy heart,

Those days of endless sunshine that were so perfect

Your sweet voice singing your favourites and mine

During all seasons and all times, every single day.

The songs that I listen on the radio this morning

Brings back a smile in this era of infinite longing.

Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls

What comes first to my mind, when I think of the onset of periods is the Maturity Celebration in Tamil Nadu shown in the song Thandatti Karuppayi from the film Kaadhal starring Sandhya and Bharath. However, this might be a  popular media depiction of a girl hailing from a rich background as we read of girls who skip school they cannot afford sanitary pads  or girls who use rags and sawdust during this time. For most of the girls in my generation, menarche came as a surprise or even shock as most of us didn’t know why we were bleeding. As Aditi Gupta says in her TED Talks, A taboo-free way to talk about periods, some even though they had blood cancer. 

The generation before that probably never spoke the word aloud. The generation before that must have never have heard of sanitary pads. But when one clearly remembers the trauma of the first period at school or the kind of experiences of your clothes showing signs of it, through firsthand or second hand experiences.Nowadays, the onset of menarche is quite early when compared to the previous generations because of various reasons. Children learn about periods quite early from their peers who have early or through books and films. However, it is good to educate them about what periods is all about.  So, a sign of the changing times can be seen in a book by Aditi Gupta named Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls. 

The book talks about menstruation and the processes that are behind it in the form of a comic. It aims at dissipating some of the myths that surround menstruation and in bringing about a healthy view of it as a natural biological process. The book is in the form of a story where Priya Didi speaks about menstrual hygiene and health to her younger cousin and her friends Jiya and Mira. This is highly recommended for young girls who will learn to see periods positively. This book is available on amazon. 

Big Panda and Tiny Dragon

What comforts your soul, when it is weary with life and cannot go on, what brings you back to the centre when you feel drained of your vital energy, are words written by some strange wise person living in some place and time. 

Like a young person perusing loveletters, one reads words of comfort from an unknown hand from an unknown land as if they were written just for your eyes. You feel sustained by their wisdom and they make sense like pieces in a jigsaw coming together. It feels like an unreal experience where the hand of Providence set them right before your eyes to nourish your strength and you feel grateful that you didn't give up this time either. 

One such book that I came across recently is James Norbury's Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. 

When I first saw a page out of this book, I thought it was a book meant for children. But on reading a few pages online, I understood that it contained allegories of life. Through the dialogue between the two characters Big Panda and Tiny Dragon, the author offers a different perspective on the vicissitudes of life. However, the specialty of this book is that you tend to return to it time and again when your soul needs repose. 

The author states that he was strengthened in a difficult situation in life after reading a book on Buddhism he bought from a second hand shop. His interest in spirituality and meditation can be seen in Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. He recognised the depth of human suffering and tried to give support to people who needed help. He began using his art as a form of communicating the wisdom that he learnt from difficult times. The book stays with you even after you have put it down. 

Daily

Let me watch the stars with you;

The warmth of a lovely sunrise;
Let me travel with you once again
To a home near the River Green;

Let us play in the shallow waters
Like always in a lost sacred childhood.
Let me stand with you near a grave
Lost in renovation and forgetfulness;

Let me find love once again with you;
The lost beauty of love and smiles;
Let me sit beside you in a snakeboat
As it floats across the blue waters.

Let me colour this circle of life again
With a spot of red from your hands.

Pic: ndtv