Togetherness

You are my want, my need, my desire, my everything,
My one addiction that I never want to give up ever,
May be time- the years, the months and the days-
Might bring about a change in this feeling for you.

But I want you to know that after all these years,
I want yours to be the shoulder where I return to
With the broken scattered pieces to be held close,
And put together with a few words of consolation.

I want yours to be the eyes that hold my bold gaze,
To give in without holding anything back from me;
I want yours to be lips that greet me in surprise
To give ecstasy when most desired without saying so.

While you and I enjoy our days of mutual togetherness,
I want your love to be the kind that stays around forever.

Sunshine Forever

You do nothing but sing praises of the sun;

The mighty rays that sweep across everyone.

There are no masks on your face but truth

The pain of fighting hard for a loyal path.

You see the best that is possible for all of us;

You cry out over the tiniest details in surprise

You sing with the twilights over the sunshine,

Abundant and joyful that has blessed us all.

The taste of perfection in a move of hand,

The model that you emulate, the best life.

Though it has its ups and downs as I can see

May this battle defeat all bittersweet strife.

When the sun rises in its glory once again

We will sing the sunshine song in unison.

#summersolstice2022

#longestdayoftheyear2022

Twinflame reunion

You are a wanderer whose heart loves to ramble and get lost in the beauty of nature. Sometimes, the lonely roads have worn you out and you have looked with jealousy at the togetherness that the ones lucky in their lives enjoy. 

The days were long where you did not have a soul to breathe your worries to. And despite the lonely hours spent by your self, you long for a companion who will complement you, the one who will finish your half-finished sentences or who might enjoy lying on the green grass on full moon nights. 

There is always this desire, the need for warmth, for compassion, for meaningless chatter and meaningful silences yet the road is quite lonely. 

Much later at a turnstile, you might meet a traveller in whose eyes you might see eternity, in whose warmth all your wanderlust might be kindled again, in whose extended hand you might see a soul connection.  

There might be others who have gone ahead and reached their destinations long ago but your blessing is that you value the wisdom taught by the lonely roads, the weary feet and the patience that these wanderings have brought. 

Your twinflame will make your appreciate the long days of weariness and when you begin a life of togetherness, it will be a like a dream come true, like the joining of opposites, and this reunion of your twinflame will bring back life to your years lost in unhappy searches.

Happy Reading Day

Sunshine Forever

You do nothing but sing praises of the sun;
The mighty rays that sweep across everyone.
There are no masks on your face but truth
The pain of fighting hard for a loyal path.

You see the best that is possible for all of us;
You cry out over the tiniest details in surprise
You sing with the twilights over the sunshine,
Abundant and joyful that has blessed us all.

The taste of perfection in a move of hand,
The model that you emulate, the best life.
Though it has its ups and downs as I can see
May this battle defeat all bittersweet strife.

When the sun rises in its glory once again
We will sing the sunshine song in unison.

The Full Moon Prayer

(With my hands outstretched and with a full heart), I bow to the moon, the earth, the sky, and the stars.

(With my left hand drawing from the energy of the earth and my right hand to the sky and the moon), I allow my Self to be a vessel for release and renewal.

I release all that does not serve me.

(Consider any anger, anguish, worry, sorrow, envy, pain, and/or other emotions and beliefs that you need to let go of. Breathe, and release. Take your time and Move as you are guided to, to release during this process.)

I release all archaic patterning that suppresses or degrades the divine feminine in all her manifestations, within my self,
within all society, and on the planet. I refuse to conduct, consent, or condone thoughts, words or deeds that degrade the feminine.

(Hands raises to the moon as you allow for your own release – bring mother energy through the earth as you do this)

As I release the hurt, ignorance, and the greed that feeds such suppression, I call forth the unlimited creative force that is the divine feminine in all forms of life.

May the divine feminine and masculine engage in their eternal dance to bring forth mutual harmony and respect, and peaceful, joyous coexistence for all beings and this living, breathing Earth.

And so it is.

 

The Unsent Letters

Inspiration

A blank page, listens in silence,
At this midnight hour, before me.
What fire burns in me, to merge,
Unwritten ellipses of memory-

The promises your eyes gave

And the melodies my heart made-
As history, of gains and losses,
A signature, in black and white.

Little Things: 'Here We Go!'

They are Kavu and Momo to each other. Cute. Funny. Adorable. The latest from Little Things Web Series has Kavya and Dhruv going on a long drive just to meet the bhaji-seller. But it turns out that the bhaji-seller hasn't turned up in days and instead they have an adventure at a vineyard tasting wines.

They learn about the three Ss of winesipping-smell, swirl and sip. She is drunk and wonders whether to quit her present job or not. Dhruv weighs the pros and cons for her. She shares her emotions especially what she feels about how complacent she has become.

On the other hand, she is glad that they made this trip because it is a milestone in their relationship. So, this season finale ends with the story of how they first met. 

Songs of the Yellow Moon

When I was growing up, I used to get so irrirated with my grandmother who will come up with aa song for every random word that I said. Being a language teacher, she was a storehouse of poems and songs and rhymes that would make me cringe, so much that my message will be completely lost in the process of communication. Growing older, I have understood that I have got at least fifty percent of her riddlesome nature, of singing songs about random words and people.

There were other legends about her. One was that she had the ability to make a very fiery husband crack up in laughter whose way of self-expression was flying plates at the dinner table if he wasn’t happy with the food that she prepared. Then on sleepless nights, they would tell each other how they had met each other when they were both eighteen and he will say with a smile that even then he knew she will be the one whom he would marry. With my late reading hours, I might drop in to their room listening to them argue about the hardships and obstacles they faced from her family (sixty five years ago) and their beautiful love story that I don’t think even their children know much about.

I am no different I guess, at least about the song part. Life is so uneventful yet one feels consoled by the sight of a full moon. I guess the best part was the feeling to go on gazing at it as if its magic is enough to lighten up your entire being. I think that's when my I remembered my all time favourite "Yellow Moon" and needless to say as with old favourites, these play in the head from beginning to end, with each word, right in its place.

About the lovebirds, lost her songs and her memory after his death and her favourite way of spending sleepless nights was her constant prayers for death and asking for the priest to give the holy sacrement. Once, when I was giving her food, she noticed the newspaper and asked me "Has my name come in the obituary today?" May her soul rest in peace!

Songs of the Super Moon

In the long years that we were in love,
You were the only sun of my universe
I have rhymed, bled and given birth
On the pure rhythms of your calendar.

Like the moon, I have had my full tides,
Where I have went ahead of everyone,
Conquered the world and been on high,
Loved you with the might of my limbs.

Like the moon, I have had my ebbs,
Where I have fallen behind so low,
So much that I couldn't smile or laugh,
Missed your limbs that coil round me.

We change with the tides of the moon,
Yet our love comes back in full circle.

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

Hum rahe ya na rahe yaad ayenge ye pal

Some favourites from KK. May his voice linger on! 

1. Pyar Ke Pal

2. Yaaron Dosti

3. Abhi Abhi to Mile Hain

4. Dil Kyun Ye Mera Shor Kare

5. Alvida

6. Kya Mujhe Pyar Hai

7. Labon Ko

8. Khuda Jaane

9. O Meri Jaan

10. Zindagi Dol Pal ki

11. Zara Sa

12. Aap ki Dua

Euphemistic desire: Dear Diary

Today, I heard a transgender writer speak of her genitals as if it were the most natural thing in the world, her lips curling to the words my vagina, my breasts, my body and the crowd listening as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I don't know how many among the men would say my penis or how many among the women would dare to say my vagina or my breasts except in a very clinical sense and that too when talking to the doctor about some afflictions that affect them.


Our world has ways of putting words to complex things but not something as simple as your sex or mine or theirs, your desires or mine or theirs. Stronger than the feeling of finding nicer labels for all private parts was the feeling of curiosity about how she has lived with courage when many a man or a woman with ordinary lives might have crumbled before life's ordinary struggles.

Is it that difficult to find words to express love for the one you love just because you are an introvert or because your identity is different from that of the majority?

Thoughts listening to Kalki Subramaniam

On Air

The way your memory creeps up before my eyes
The way you croon your favourite songs and mine,
The songs that have stayed despite the long years
Playful, naughty, sad, philosophical or just pleasant.

The songs that bring you back to me wherever I am
Wild dreams of being one with you body and soul
Spending endless hours in embraces like creepers
Despite the long sad years of absence and longing.

Though I long for our lost days with a heavy heart,
Those days of endless sunshine that were so perfect
Your sweet voice singing your favourites and mine
During all seasons and all times, every single day.

The songs that I listen on the radio this morning
Brings back a smile in this era of infinite longing.

The Unsent Letters

Always intrigued by the Letters that Noah wrote Ellie in Nicholas Sparks' The Notebook. Thinking of writing 365 letters that were unsent.

Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls

What comes first to my mind, when I think of the onset of periods is the Maturity Celebration in Tamil Nadu shown in the song Thandatti Karuppayi from the film Kaadhal starring Sandhya and Bharath. However, this might be a popular media depiction of a girl hailing from a rich background as we read of girls who skip school they cannot afford sanitary pads or girls who use rags and sawdust during this time. For most of the girls in my generation, menarche came as a surprise or even shock as most of us didn’t know why we were bleeding. 

As Aditi Gupta says in her TED Talks, A taboo-free way to talk about periods, some even though they had blood cancer. The generation before that probably never spoke the word aloud. The generation before that must have never have heard of sanitary pads. But when one clearly remembers the trauma of the first period at school or the kind of experiences of your clothes showing signs of it, through firsthand or second hand experiences.Nowadays, the onset of menarche is quite early when compared to the previous generations because of various reasons. 

Children learn about periods quite early from their peers who have early or through books and films. However, it is good to educate them about what periods is all about. So, a sign of the changing times can be seen in a book by Aditi Gupta named Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls. The book talks about menstruation and the processes that are behind it in the form of a comic. It aims at dissipating some of the myths that surround menstruation and in bringing about a healthy view of it as a natural biological process. The book is in the form of a story where Priya Didi speaks about menstrual hygiene and health to her younger cousin and her friends Jiya and Mira. This is highly recommended for young girls who will learn to see periods positively. This book is available on amazon.

Sacred Spaces

In times of despair and darkness, your soul lingers on a favourite memory for a second and without knowing how or why, there is shift in thinking that realign you to the present. This memory could be a place near the River Green, where you grew up or could be the verdant campus where you studied or your favourite space in your house.

The spaces you love, the view that your balcony offers, your favourite reading space in the drawing room or the serene space you have made for your gods-all become memories to be visited in the mind's eye.

However, my favourite space was my armchair from where I visited many imaginary lands and learnt the magic of written words. The view that this room offered was lovely, with the blue skies and the sight of tall buildings etched across. During the rains, this is the space from where I sang my favourite songs.

Yet my love, you are my favourite sacred space, the one I visit every day, whenever I think of our days of togetherness, the one secret haven where I rest when in strife and where my soul might come back when the body loses its breath. 

You are that sacred space that I will inhabit in the realms of dreams where the bonds of this world don't matter any longer. 

#sacredspaces

#home

Unsent Letters

Dear Sean

I still remember the first day I met you. It was a beautiful morning with the sun shining bright. You and I met and looked at each other with surprise in our eyes. Even now, I think you never fail to surprise me. That first day was pure magic, I still remember. I have always thought it would be a wonderful story for us to tell the future generations. However, our lives were never meant to be together. Yet on days like this, I write you letters on how beautiful life would have been had we been together. Even after all these years, I still love you, adore you and cherish you as mine.

Yours truly,
Berry

Unconditional love

Beauty

Angel Number

Change

Favourites from KK

Some favourites from KK. May his voice linger on! 

1. Pyar Ke Pal

2. Yaaron Dosti

3. Abhi Abhi to Mile Hain

4. Dil Kyun Ye Mera Shor Kare

5. Alvida

6. Kya Mujhe Pyar Hai

7. Labon Ko

8. Khuda Jaane

9. O Meri Jaan

10. Zindagi Dol Pal ki

11. Zara Sa

12. Aap ki Dua

Tonight

Only you, only you, your smiling eyes whispered,
As you sang our song, unaware of the huge crowd,
For I couldn’t believe it, standing where we were,
How you could look before you, and see only me?

Your eyes illumine the words as a leaf under light
Your solemn face, singing of trysts at moonlight,
Like by magic took on a look so soft and tender,
By what spell or charm it still makes me wonder.

The words you sang to me long ago, now, crowd,
Like colour against monotone, promises unlived,
Your songs of love and longing in forgotten days
In a gaze that read me, in a million uncanny ways.

Like buried seeds coming to life at the touch of rain
You come back with new tears as ungrieved pain,
Our tragedy was not breaking up but fading away,
With distance and fights that broke out twice a day.

Your eyes now sing to me from crowds this night,
Whose look has turned wan like the words I write.

acceptance