You are your own refuge.
Tuesday, July 06, 2021
Sunshine Forever
You do nothing but sing praises of the sun;
The mighty rays that sweep across everyone.
There are no masks on your face but truth
The pain of fighting hard for a loyal path.
You see the best that is possible for all of us;
You cry out over the tiniest details in surprise
You sing with the twilights over the sunshine,
Abundant and joyful that has blessed us all.
The taste of perfection in a move of hand,
The model that you emulate, the best life.
Though it has its ups and downs as I can see
May this battle defeat all bittersweet strife.
When the sun rises in its glory once again
We will sing the sunshine song in unison.
Manual of the Warrior of Light
A warrior of light knows that certain moments repeat themselves.
He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life.
‘I’ve been through all this before,’ he says to his heart.
‘Yes, you have been through all this before,’ replies his heart. ‘But you have never been beyond it.’
Then the warrior realises that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn.
He often finds himself faced by the same problems and situations, and seeing these difficult situations return, he grows depressed, thinking that he is incapable of making any progress in life.
‘I’ve been through all this before,’ he says to his heart.
‘Yes, you have been through all this before,’ replies his heart. ‘But you have never been beyond it.’
Then the warrior realises that these repeated experiences have but one aim: to teach him what he does not want to learn.
Sunrise
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving...
Kahlil Gibran
Monday, July 05, 2021
Sunday, July 04, 2021
Journal Entry 3
When I go on a writing spree, it is as if a
creative spirit comes alive that overwhelms all the other ways of thinking and living that I am used to. This spree is unlike moviebinging or book-reading spree, or musical overloads that I occasionally experience. It gives a kind of balance to a chaotic mind and recompenses the losses that this life has suffered till recently.
Life has not been easy, and it has suffered so many unforeseen calamities, wounds that need healing and losses that have become the habit. Yet when you enter this creative phase of writing out your mind, this life spirit makes its presence felt and keeps you believe that you are exactly where you should have been. Also, there have been many instances of sheer good fortune.
In the olden days, when I was in college, what I wanted the most was freedom, to break free like Icarus and fly out of the many mazes that surrounded you. Then, in the thirties, one longed for stability, for having a fixed routine with no big surprises or twists and turns- like watching a favourite film one has viewed so many times, with life moving in predictable patterns.
creative spirit comes alive that overwhelms all the other ways of thinking and living that I am used to. This spree is unlike moviebinging or book-reading spree, or musical overloads that I occasionally experience. It gives a kind of balance to a chaotic mind and recompenses the losses that this life has suffered till recently.
Life has not been easy, and it has suffered so many unforeseen calamities, wounds that need healing and losses that have become the habit. Yet when you enter this creative phase of writing out your mind, this life spirit makes its presence felt and keeps you believe that you are exactly where you should have been. Also, there have been many instances of sheer good fortune.
In the olden days, when I was in college, what I wanted the most was freedom, to break free like Icarus and fly out of the many mazes that surrounded you. Then, in the thirties, one longed for stability, for having a fixed routine with no big surprises or twists and turns- like watching a favourite film one has viewed so many times, with life moving in predictable patterns.
Now, nearing forty, one thinks of all these big dreams of freedom or stability with a bit of indifference. What I might like right now is to enjoy life, taking time to savour individual moments because I have become forgetful, unlike the young days, and it might ta
Journal Entry Day 2
I have begun writing in this beautiful new book, in a diary with a green cover, ready to inhabit the creative space that is offered by the blank pages. As I said earlier, writing in a diary is often like baring yourself before the one you love, without any inhibitions and without self-consciousness. I want my lover to admire the beauty of my curves, the tiny details that make my body apart, with its moles and warts. Just like that, I want you to take in my writing with all its beauty and its flaws, completely, unconditionally. So, off to revealing my heart thoughts to my confidante.
I haven't written like this in a long time with only a few lines a day because of the busy schedule of being a teacher and managing a household at the sametime. This year, I got myseld a diary with a green cover that says Save Our Trees, Save Our Earth. I am thinking of switching to the virtual format though as this business of writing down thoughts has become too tedious.
As I told you, this last year has been one of good fortune for various reasons. One doubts every year whether one has learnt enough. This life has been full of ups and downs, at times with nothing to bring in happiness. Despite troubles, one has survived though not overcome the obstacles that life threw in its paths. And regarding the blank pages, they can inspire a dull spirit by bringing back life. I felt something come alive within me as I stared at the fresh-scented blank pages.
I haven't written like this in a long time with only a few lines a day because of the busy schedule of being a teacher and managing a household at the sametime. This year, I got myseld a diary with a green cover that says Save Our Trees, Save Our Earth. I am thinking of switching to the virtual format though as this business of writing down thoughts has become too tedious.
As I told you, this last year has been one of good fortune for various reasons. One doubts every year whether one has learnt enough. This life has been full of ups and downs, at times with nothing to bring in happiness. Despite troubles, one has survived though not overcome the obstacles that life threw in its paths. And regarding the blank pages, they can inspire a dull spirit by bringing back life. I felt something come alive within me as I stared at the fresh-scented blank pages.
Journal Entry Day 1
The New Year began quietly at 0001 while I was busy writing in my journal. This has been my habit for the last many years when I have found happiness in journalling about the passing year and the coming one. Unlike childhood, when the New Year began with prayers in the church with the Midnight Mass, the years since my marriage in 2008 have been blessed with midnight musings and nothing else. I have jumped like the proverbial monkey from faith to spirituality to religion to nonbelieving all the time and its hardly news that I don't go to church any longer.
Writing in a journal often means that you are offering yourself, baring yourself without any kind of censure. In some of the diary writing years, I have thought of publishing mine but it never happened that way because I was too busy with many things and my journal writing endeavours mostly fizzled out before the end of January. This year I want to write a journal that is worth publishing and want to create positive changes in all spheres of life
Writing in a journal often means that you are offering yourself, baring yourself without any kind of censure. In some of the diary writing years, I have thought of publishing mine but it never happened that way because I was too busy with many things and my journal writing endeavours mostly fizzled out before the end of January. This year I want to write a journal that is worth publishing and want to create positive changes in all spheres of life
Saturday, June 26, 2021
Chingam
You and I enjoy our days of togetherness,
The scent of sweet jasmines on our bed
Your fingers undoing my long-braided hair.
The long heaps of my kasavu sari all crumbled
Along with your two yards of shiny kasavu mundu
The sweetness of these long waiting years
That finds its way into your limbs and mine.
We rest together after a sumptous onam feast
Amid smells of childhood and old boatsongs
That you sing in your sweet mellow voice,
To the snake-boats across the River Green.
When the spring is finally around for us both
We reign an ancient king and his demure queen.
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