candid chats

I really miss the days when people texted more than Yes, No, ok, and what? and abbreviations and short forms than send meaningful long sentences, properly capitalised, spelt and spaced meaningfully. May be you might think that I am a purist but this craving exists to get a well written letter or a handwritten page. 

I remember there were friends who could match wit with wit, anger with anger and repartee with repartee, all in matter of seconds and you could roll in laughter at the words they said. You look with nostalgia at the SMSes that could make your day. 

I really miss those texts in words, invites, reminders, emails and missing you messages not the rebus that you read these days. I think 

want2cu2moro is good enough but I think might like a longer text that goes: I missed you a lot today, my dear and want to see you tomorrow. Please stand near the tabeubia tree where we usually meet. 

I love your meaningful silences and how you read me without using words. But, I want to hear what you think, that too unedited and free.I want to read messages that are honest and unedited showing exactly what you think and about what you want. 

Most of the time, I want to have candid chats with you, ones that stay with me all the time and ones that could keep me warm throughout the wintry days. 

Rebus Writing

 I really miss the days when people texted more than Yes, No, ok, and what? and abbreviations and short forms than send meaningful long sentences, properly capitalised, spelt and spaced meaningfully. May be you might think that I am a purist but this craving exists to get a well written letter or a handwritten page.

I remember there were friends who could match wit with wit, anger with anger and repartee with repartee, all in matter of seconds and you could roll in laughter at the words they said. You look with nostalgia at the SMSes that could make  your day.

I really miss those texts in words, invites, reminders, emails and missing you messages not the rebus that you read these days. I think want2cu2moro is good enough but I think might like a longer text that goes: I missed you a lot today, my dear and want to see you tomorrow. Please stand near the tabeubia tree where we usually meet. 

Masks

You and me have worn many masks with each other. Any other woman would leap and violently tear that mask of silence off your face. But I watch in silence, everyday, how far will you carry the game. You will only smile and say the same words of courtesy. But when your silence is broken by hoarse laughter that sounds so hollow, all my anger disappears and I find you the same as ever, childish and ever trying to hide your insecurity in being aloof and in being funny. After finding out how you feel, I see that I try to do the same with you.

X'mas Tree

One last time before taking the Christmas tree down!

death

Déjà vu

The place looks familiar to me though I have come here for the first time. It's as if you've been here before, though you know you haven't. The scene before you is like a dream, one that you've had before, but can't quite remember. I experience a sense of déjà vu looking at the blue waters and the houseboats wading in the water. 

As you stand there, lost in the tranquility of the moment, you start to wonder if the waves might hold some secrets, some whispers of the past that could reveal the truth about your connection to this place. Maybe, just maybe, if you stay a while longer, the waves will tell you the story of how you could hear the song of a home. 

You feel a sense of longing, a yearning to know more about this place, about the person whose home might be this place. You're so caught up in the trance of the blue waters that you barely notice the stranger smiling at you, their eyes crinkling at the corners as they take in the sight of you, lost in thought.

For a moment, you wonder if this stranger might be the answer to the questions that have been in your mind. Maybe they're the one who can tell you more about this place and about the song that's been echoing in your heart. 

Maybe the answer lies within you, in the depths of your own heart, where the memories of your dreams and the longings of your soul reside. 

Us

I have a self that knows years of sense and more nonsense. I stand alone in crowds yet walk with you in green fields at the same time. I run in many new paths sitting at my armchair though I never leave my  world but for fresh signs or old paths. 

You are my other self, whom I do not know for I have never seen you as you really are, for I was struck blind by your light. and love was something that naturally followed. You were not with me in the physical sense yet I know you were with me in each and every circle round the holy fire and will find you near me in every dream.  

You are my favourite daydream that I return to time and again just to hold your hand in an unreal realm where rules don't matter and hearts speak only the truth. In another world, in a different circle of life, you and I will win our eternal game of love and may understand each other perfectly well. For us, time and space have never been important concerns for both of us and all that remains is the sense of unconditional love for the self and the other.

Lucky Bamboo

The Unsent Letters

Dear Sean

Your thought crossed my mind when I heard a song that you love.Then, I remembered how throughout the years, I have mourned your absence though I have never tried talking to you at all. I think I should made an attempt because staying in touch might have brought down the anguish that I experience in my life. I run through the young years and tell myself how blessed I am, to have met you and tasted of love though we were never lucky enough to be together in this life. But in an alternate universe created by my longing, you have never been away from me but has been my constant source of solace.

Love
Berry

The Unsent Letters

Dear Sean

If you ask me what will you do given the same crossroads, I will give the answer that I will do everything differently, take a risk for you and will give everything just to get you I'm life. You will be my top priority and I will not think twice about it. For every day, this heart has longed for nothing but your return and I will never think twice before picking you from the choices that I am given in any life.

Love
Berry

 

the unsent letters

handpicked

You cherish the Earth's palette: mud's earthy brown, leaves' vibrant emerald, sky's brilliant blue, ocean's soothing aquamarine, and sunset's golden hues. Like an expert buyer of sarees, you select unique drapes that whisper stories. Your eyes settle on a saree that captivates you and its pattern talks of a lifelong desire.

You marvel at how a maiden's love entranced her beloved, their hands entwined through life's joys and sorrows. Memories of your own youthful bridehood glow, basking in his love. Your heart skips a beat recalling his enchanted expression when you wore his favorite hue.

You remember his gaze of wordless wonder when you wear a beautiful saree he had bought for you. You recall his face when he first saw you in a saree and how he had looked at you in wonder. Inspired by this memory, I choose a neelakurinji printed drape waiting to bring that same awestruck look on his face. 

The Unsent Letters

Dear Sean,

I remember the first letter you wrote me like it was yesterday. The way you wove a story around our bond, which was surprising as it had left me wondering if it was just a tale or a glimpse into the magic that existed between us. I recall the spark in your eyes when I asked if the story was about us, and the shy smile that spoke volumes about your feelings.

As I read your words now, I'm taken back to that moment, and I'm filled with a sense of nostalgia and longing. The texture and appearance of the notebook paper may be etched in your memory, but for me, it's the emotions and thoughts that you poured onto those pages that have stayed with me. Your letter was more than just a story; it was a declaration of the connection we shared, a connection that has only grown stronger with time.

I'm grateful for the countless letters, stories, and poems that have followed- each one a testament to the love and affection that we share. In a world, where time and circumstance can sometimes pull us apart, your words have been a constant reminder of the bond that we created long back. I still cherish the memories we created, and though apart, how the memories bring back a love story full of unconditional love for each other.

With all my love,

Berry

The Unsent Letters

Dear Sean

You remember the first letter that I wrote you? It was in the form of a story and I thought like in a story that I had read, there be will be countless letters and stories and poems all written for you, till the day I die. Here, years later I still remember the texture and appearance of the notebook paper that i had at that time and the way you had asked me if the story was about the magic between you and me. I was too embarrassed to answer directly and it was from my shy smile that you read about what I really felt about you, that day once upon a time in our world of togetherness. 

Love

Berry

self love

Us

I have a self that knows years of sense and more nonsense. I stand alone in crowds yet walk with you in green fields at the same time. I run in many new paths sitting at my armchair though I never leave my  world but for fresh signs or old paths.

You are my other self, whom I do not know for I have never seen you as you really are, for I was struck blind by your light. and love was something that naturally followed. You were not with me in the physical sense  yet I know you were with me in each and every circle round the holy fire and will find you near me in every dream. 

You are my favourite daydream that I return to time and again just to hold your hand in an unreal realm where rules don't matter and hearts speak only the truth. In another world, in a different circle of life, you and I will win our eternal game of love and may understand each other perfectly well. For us, time and space have never been important concerns for both of us and all that remains is the sense of unconditional love for the self and the other. 

the unsent letters

Dear Sean

This year, i decided to move on with my life leaving you and our relationship made up of whatever dreams that we built it upon. I am feeling very hopeful about this transition and encourage myself for making a good move. But, as I am settled in my thoughts, the whole place smells of you and the perfume that you were wearing in the days when I was with you and suddenly my resolve feels weakened and I believe I am going to be in love with you forever.

Love
Berry

words

From a grid of words for the coming year 2025, I found the following words at first glance: positive change, romance, peace, healing, wisdom, success, solution, blessings, change, fulfillment, enlightenment and love. I think I need wisdom to grow older and wiser in Your love and many other blessings from Your hand to survive even a single day. I am grateful for all the good and the bad that happened this year treating both sorrows and joys as lifelessons.

It's not time yet to write a full year review but then writing wise, I think I am blessed for there are new kinds of writing I have tried including a collaboration with AI. Then, there are questions about love and relationships that have stayed in the mind written in the form of posts that were answered by many voices through posts. These palinodies have served as a kind of letter responses to my collected thoughts. I am glad that there are answers and parodies or even better writing with the same thoughts in them.

Happy to read Lavender Pen and JmStorm when read feels like a personal letter to your self and like always thank you for all the good songs learnt this year!

gratitude

This time of the year is very sacred as it marks a transition time between the years, bidding goodbye to 2024 and welcoming the new year 2025. It is a time to retreat and get your focus on what was really great about the last year and writing your gratitude list for all the blessings that have come your way. It also is a time for setting the tone for the next year and trying to make the most of it. It is the time to go inward and meet people who kindle your inner fire and do activities that will make you glow with inner light. You can also meet people whom you value during the new year and let yourself feel loved, understood and appreciated. 

Language

Do you mean the words you say?
Do we speak the same language?
Do we comprehend each other?
Do we share the same world?

For a while thought I was fluent in you;
Yet found out that we are from two worlds
Two different worlds of understanding
Where we do not speak the same tongue.

Nor do we comprehend each other,
Not any longer,  since we are strangers-
You come from your dark cave
And I still move in crests and troughs.

We, both come together again and talk

Trying our best to understand each other.