Beannacht: A Blessing for the New Year

For Josie

On the day when

The weight deadens

On your shoulders

And you stumble,

May the clay dance

To balance you.

And when your eyes

Freeze behind

The grey window

And the ghost of loss

Gets in to you,

May a flock of colours,

Indigo, red, green,

And azure blue,

Come to awaken in you

A meadow of delight.

When the canvas frays

In the currach of thought

And a stain of ocean

Blackens beneath you,

May there come across the waters

A path of yellow moonlight

To bring you safely home.

May the nourishment of the earth be yours,

May the clarity of light be yours,

May the fluency of the ocean be yours,

May the protection of the ancestors be yours.

And so may a slow

Wind work these words

Of love around you,

An invisible cloak

To mind your life.

[Note: "Beannacht" is the Gaelic word for "blessing." A "currach" is a large boat used on the west coast of Ireland.]

candid chats

I really miss the days when people texted more than Yes, No, ok, and what? and abbreviations and short forms than send meaningful long sentences, properly capitalised, spelt and spaced meaningfully. May be you might think that I am a purist but this craving exists to get a well written letter or a handwritten page. 

I remember there were friends who could match wit with wit, anger with anger and repartee with repartee, all in matter of seconds and you could roll in laughter at the words they said. You look with nostalgia at the SMSes that could make your day. 

I really miss those texts in words, invites, reminders, emails and missing you messages not the rebus that you read these days. I think 

want2cu2moro is good enough but I think might like a longer text that goes: I missed you a lot today, my dear and want to see you tomorrow. Please stand near the tabeubia tree where we usually meet. 

I love your meaningful silences and how you read me without using words. But, I want to hear what you think, that too unedited and free.I want to read messages that are honest and unedited showing exactly what you think and about what you want. 

Most of the time, I want to have candid chats with you, ones that stay with me all the time and ones that could keep me warm throughout the wintry days. 

words

From a grid of words for the coming year 2025, I found the following words at first glance: positive change, romance, peace, healing, wisdom, success, solution, blessings, change, fulfillment, enlightenment and love. I think I need wisdom to grow older and wiser in Your love and many other blessings from Your hand to survive even a single day. I am grateful for all the good and the bad that happened this year treating both sorrows and joys as lifelessons.

It's not time yet to write a full year review but then writing wise, I think I am blessed for there are new kinds of writing I have tried including a collaboration with AI. Then, there are questions about love and relationships that have stayed in the mind written in the form of posts that were answered by many voices through posts. These palinodies have served as a kind of letter responses to my collected thoughts. I am glad that there are answers and parodies or even better writing with the same thoughts in them.

Happy to read Lavender Pen and JmStorm when read feels like a personal letter to your self and like always thank you for all the good songs learnt this year!

gratitude

This time of the year is very sacred as it marks a transition time between the years, bidding goodbye to 2024 and welcoming the new year 2025. It is a time to retreat and get your focus on what was really great about the last year and writing your gratitude list for all the blessings that have come your way. It also is a time for setting the tone for the next year and trying to make the most of it. It is the time to go inward and meet people who kindle your inner fire and do activities that will make you glow with inner light. You can also meet people whom you value during the new year and let yourself feel loved, understood and appreciated. 

Language

Do you mean the words you say?
Do we speak the same language?
Do we comprehend each other?
Do we share the same world?

For a while thought I was fluent in you;
Yet found out that we are from two worlds
Two different worlds of understanding
Where we do not speak the same tongue.

Nor do we comprehend each other,
Not any longer,  since we are strangers-
You come from your dark cave
And I still move in crests and troughs.

We, both come together again and talk

Trying our best to understand each other. 

Journal: Serious and Trivial

The pages of my journal await to record a few thoughts. These could serious, trivial or even a mixture of both just like life. All these rambling thoughts were gathered from the same quixotic heart that has loved to dream, to fly, to win and to keep.

The serious thoughts were all about love and the longing to be with the one you love and the need to make him your heart's anchorage and sacred space, how from a chance

acquaintance he grew into my world and how this love is celebrated in an alternate universe of togetherness. 

The trivial thoughts were scribbled on early mornings as a bundle of words in the dream journal as a celebration of the pure delight of being alive, when a burst of fresh air, a bit of bright blue sky or a belief in the goodness of life were more than enough to keep this heart on cloud nine. 

But the best ones are the mixed ones, a little serious and a little trivial about things that celebrate the joy of life that finds room in today's dream journal. 

Rebus Writing

A Lament about Lost Love: Unravelling the Heartache in K R Meera's "The Poison of Love"

Love like milk sours with time, leaving behind a trail of heartache and longing. K R Meera's poignant novella, "The Poison of Love," masterfully weaves a tale of tragic love, as embodied by the protagonist, Tulsi.

Tulsi's story is one of duty versus desire, as she finds herself torn between the comfort of familiarity and the thrill of passion. Her choice to elope with Madhavan, rather than marrying the dependable Vinayan, sets off a chain of events that ultimately leads to her downfall.

Through Meera's evocative prose, we experience the intoxicating allure of Madhavan's love, as well as the crushing despair that follows its demise. The author's vivid descriptions of desire and heartache are matched only by her unflinching portrayal of Madhavan's treachery, leaving Tulsi to pick up the shattered remnants of her life.

As Tulsi's transformation from loving wife to grieving sadhvi unfolds, we witness the devastating consequences of her all-consuming love. The novella's non-linear narrative masterfully captures the fragmented nature of memory, as Tulsi's recollections of her marital life blur the lines between past and present.

Translated from Malayalam by Ministhy S., "The Poison of Love" is a haunting exploration of love's destructive power. This poignant tale of lost love will resonate deeply with anyone who has ever experienced the bittersweet pain of heartache.

13 Steps to Bloody Good Health

This book written by Dr. Mukesh Batra and Ashwin Sanghi gives you some tips on how to become healthy and energetic by taking 13 steps in that direction:

1. Sleep: Getting adequate sleep is necessary for maintaining your health. The book advises you to have a good sleep and gives you tips on how to enhance the quality of your sleep- by blocking out noise and light, taking melatonin supplements, following a routine, exercising regularly, managing room temperature, avoiding heavy meals and alcohols or stimulants before bedtime, limiting fluid intake and sleeping on a comfortable mattress and pillows. 

2. Hydrate: In order to stay healthy you need to drink at least two to three glasses of water per day. Water helps you detox, ensures that your kidneys function properly, cleans your gut, promotes weight loss, reduces water retention, regulates blood pressure and cholesterol, lubricates your joints, reduces allergies and headaches, reduces instances of kidney stones, improves mental performance, and improves skin condition and complexion. 

3. Nourish: A balanced diet is very crucial for maintaining good health though you need to eat with sense and in moderation. Your daily diet needs to have grains, vegetables, legumes, fruit, dairy and lean meats. 

4. Move: Exercise improves your mood, helps you sleep better, promotes weight loss and heart health, regulates blood sugar and has several other health benefits. The book advises you to have at least thirty minutes of physical activity five times a week. 

5. Digest: For having good health, you need to eat nutritious food and also maintain your gut health by taking more Fibre, avoiding antibiotics, ensuring timely bowel movements, exercising, avoiding processed foods, reducing gluten intake, using prebiotic and prebiotic, adding fermented foods to your diet eating slowly and preventing a leaky gut. 

6. Alkalise: In order to maintain good health, alkalinity is required and a balanced pH has several benefits for the human body. These include reduces internal inflammation, greater protection from heart disease, lower diabetes risk and stronger bone density. In order to achieve a balanced PH you can lower your intake of acidic goods, consume an alkaline diet, drink alkaline water, lower your medicine intake, manage stress as well as digestion. 

7. Breathe: Practice deep breathing exercises and you can improve your health by including these as part of your daily routine. These benefits include calming the lungs, lowered heart rate, releasing toxins, lowering blood pressure, improving sleep, strengthening immunity, improving digestion and enhancing memory. 

8. Supplement: You can take supplements such fish oil, prebiotic, vitamin D, magnesium, brahmi, protein, calcium, ajwain, ashwagandha, Holding, zinc, elaichi, jeera, mulethi, manjistha, neem, iron, vitamin C, delphinium, spiraling, glucosamine, tulsi and sesamin. 

9. Love: You need to have self- love and a positive self-image in order to have good health. This means completely accepting who you are and what you are. To love yourself, you need yo remind yourself that you are important, stop blaming yourself for things that go wrong, do things that make you happy every day and create a support system. You can improve your relationship with your partner by taking necessary steps to increase intimacy and keeping the playful element alive. 

10. Prevent: Rather than trying to cure your health issues, it is better to prevent them from occurring by taking steps when you see the first symptoms of ill health. Get medical checkups regularly and some of the routine blood tests to check the good functioning of the body. 

11. Moderate: You have live in moderation especially when it comes to work, device use, food, alcohol, exercise or even relationships . Digital moderation is relevant especially in the current scenario when people are glued to their devices all the time. According to a US study, a person spends around 4 hours a day on the phone and you need to limit your time to have better health. 

12. Relax: Stress can create a rush of hormones into the bloodstream resulting in various diseases. You can learn relaxation response through breath focus, body scan, mindfulness meditation, guides imagery, chanting, yoga or tai chi, massage therapy, laughter therapy, hydrotherapy, aromatherapy, music and art therapy and biofeedback. 

13. Rejoice: Do things that make you happy. You can do it by invest in relationships, set realistic goals for yourself, be nice to people, have fun, eat sensibly, exercise, cultivate optimism, live in the moment, practice relaxation techniques, feel relaxation techniques, feel attractive, laugh, talk, develop resilience, focus on positives and avoid negativity. More than becoming happy, you need to develop an attitude of contentment by becoming grateful for the life you have while fighting for the life you want. It also means learning to make the best of the resources available in life. 

The book gives you 13 steps on creating emotional and physical health. 

#drmukeshbatra

#13stepsseries

#ashwinsanghi

Journal: Serious and Trivial

The pages of my journal await to record a few thoughts. These could serious, trivial or even a mixture of both just like life. All these rambling thoughts were gathered from the same quixotic heart that has loved to dream, to fly, to win and to keep.

The serious thoughts were all about love and the longing to be with the one you love and the need to make him your heart's anchorage and sacred space, how from a chance

acquaintance he grew into my world and how this love is celebrated in an alternate universe of togetherness. 

The trivial thoughts were scribbled on early mornings as a bundle of words in the dream journal as a celebration of the pure delight of being alive, when a burst of fresh air, a bit of bright blue sky or a belief in the goodness of life were more than enough to keep this heart on cloud nine. 

But the best ones are the mixed ones, a little serious and a little trivial about things that celebrate the joy of life that finds room in today's dream journal. 

Dedication

You are my summer love, my love felt in the blood once upon a time in fairy land. I think I was living in the hundred acre woods with pooh, piglet and rabbit, that's how naive I was. 

You were like the rains during summer and you came with thunder and lightning and I remember the tiniest details we shared. May be we shared a bond where everything about the other person mattered a lot. 

You came with the rains and I became like an earth woman dancing to the rhythm of the raindrops on my tin roof. I remember how I would lie awake and listen to the pitter-patter of the rain outside and then go to sleep with nothing but your thoughts. 

The clouds still heave and burst into tears, every now and then and I still remember how I was like an earth blossoming after the rains. have never got a chance to tell you how much you mean to me for I want to hold your hand and tell you affectionately how you mean the world to me yet all I could do was to write some words scribbled on a page. Yet you are special by the way you bring back music to me; for I’d never forget that one day, when you made me understand that I had forgotten how to sing.

Every day, from dawn to dusk, your name is like a talisman that I keep safe from the world, till words form one by one and fill these blank pages. In an imaginary realm, I have walked with you across ages and from that moment became your soul mate and your only love. I would run your smile, every word you said and one little cryptic messages to each other and your funny way with words. 

May be this love stays with you for it was a perfect way to understand yourself and to grow in ways you never really understand. May this love was a constant solace that you ran to when beset with your world of worries and though near or apart stays with you as a special bond to look forward to, though we our bond does not have a name that the world understands. 

If I meet you in person, I want to tell you that you are my yellow and with all the words that I write, I love you more than anything else in the world and that I value your presence in my life. 

Girl in the Painting

This painting told the story of a girl who won the heart of the guy she wanted and how she turned into a woman from a naive young girl in a short span of time. Her song spoke of how her heart remained his in every circle around the sun till death separated them. Her song of triumph about how she overcame obstacles in her path of love was depicted in the painting for all to see. 

home

Once again, you are back in the city that you grew up in and you know it like the palm of your hand. You love exploring its nooks along with your friend and you just love the comfort of your favourite hangouts such as the Museum or the coffee houses or roads.

These are the same places you have walked along with your friend on your daily walks from the bus stop to your house and the hangouts that you shared from college days sharing the cutlets and coffees from the Indian Coffee House.

When you were away for an year, you missed the fun, the food and the feel of your city. You missed the coffeeshops, the evening walks in the museum compound, the sweets from your favourite sweetshops or even the ease with which you could find what you wanted.

You love this city where you grew up so much that when you see in it in a film, you feel thrilled that it was shot in your city. You love to learn the lores of this place and explore new places just to quench your wanderlust. And  you spend the evening roaming around in the museum compound smelling the evening air and munching chaat under the ancient trees and it feels like you have come home again.

#home
#trivandrum

home

Once again, you are back in the city that you grew up in and you know it like the palm of your hand. You love exploring its nooks along with your friend and you just love the comfort of your favourite hangouts such as the Museum or the coffee houses or roads.

These are the same places you have walked along with your friend on your daily walks from the bus stop to your house and the hangouts that you shared from college days sharing the cutlets and coffees from the Indian Coffee House.

When you were away for an year, you missed the fun, the food and the feel of your city. You missed the coffeeshops, the evening walks in the museum compound, the sweets from your favourite sweetshops or even the ease with which you could find what you wanted.

You love this city where you grew up so much that when you see in it in a film, you feel thrilled that it was shot in your city. You love to learn the lores of this place and explore new places just to quench your wanderlust. And  you spend the evening roaming around in the museum compound smelling the evening air and munching chaat under the ancient trees and it feels like you have come home again.

#home
#trivandrum

the unsent letters

Dear Sean, 

Looking at the snaps from our days of togetherness, I find us beaming the childhood smile grinning from ear to ear. 

It was like I had found a refuge from the strife of the world, a sanctuary of mutual understanding that no one could take away from me. 

We ruled like sovereigns in a land unknown to all in a world of dreams that nobody knew of. We wandered the fields of delight and our love was the most precious thing in the world. Our moments of togetherness were caught in the mind's eye and often on the lens. 

And, even after all these years, your love is the most precious sanctuary that I treasure the most, a safe haven that I return to time and again to find solace and comfort from the outside world. 

Love

Berry

home

Once again, you are back in the city that you grew up in and you know it like the palm of your hand. You love exploring its nooks along with your friend and you just love the comfort of your favourite hangouts such as the Museum or the coffee houses or roads.

These are the same places you have walked along with your friend on your daily walks from the bus stop to your house and the hangouts that you shared from college days sharing the cutlets and coffees from the Indian Coffee House.

When you were away for an year, you missed the fun, the food and the feel of your city. You missed the coffeeshops, the evening walks in the museum compound, the sweets from your favourite sweetshops or even the ease with which you could find what you wanted.

You love this city where you grew up so much that when you see in it in a film, you feel thrilled that it was shot in your city. You love to learn the lores of this place and explore new places just to quench your wanderlust. And  you spend the evening roaming around in the museum compound smelling the evening air and munching chaat under the ancient trees and it feels like you have come home again.

#home
#trivandrum

Dreamtime

 

This is the part of the dreaming earth that you become part of when you sleep or when you reach the ecstasy of creation, the place from where you learn the mysteries of the universe, from this deep slumber where you wake up refreshed and rejuvenated. 

The place where your flow activities take you, where you lose your sense of time and you step into kairos time and return back to chronos time having been part of creative forces. 

The place where your body rests in the rhythms of nature, in the cycles of sun, moon and the transits of the planets and you feel one with life in the universe. Then, this food that you eat and the love that you cherish becomes medicine that feeds your joy of living. 

You learn that all this knowledge shared in the times about this universe is all relative and arbitrary; that you need to learn wisdom from the wise to help you live better and to trust your own intuition so that you can recognise what your heart wants. 

This rest, this break, this act of doing nothing but rest and sleep and restore has been nothing but magic, of trusting in the divine timing of the universe. 

shakuntala

She was what her friends called a naivete, a chatterbox who wore her heart on her sleeve. But when she fell in love with him, she withdrew into her shell and started choosing her words carefully. 

In her dark kohl-drawn eyes that looked up to his warm searching eyes, you could find desire and a strange reticence to be what she was before she knew him. She talks to her friends like earlier but smiles as she speaks, thinking of him. 

Those who knew her earlier finds her new behaviour strange for she was a chatterbox talking without restraint about what mattered to her. But she was not the same after she tasted love and she forgot herself in his first embrace. 

She spends her days dreaming about him and the secrets that togetherness brings and this is one sacred space that she does not want to share with anyone. Her friends tease her about her sudden transition but she smiles and changes the topic as if she does not want to talk about him and what he means to her. 

From that moment when their souls had mingled in a sweet ethereal melody beyond any words, she has become an earth woman celebrating her newly discovered feminine nature, a woman who is one with nature and its rhythms. 

She talks to her friends but not candidly like before and in the midst of her conversation with them, she falls silent as she dreams of him and the emotions that memories of togetherness brings. 

She dreams of the sweet nothings that he whispered in her ears as he sat next to her and the love-light in his eyes that makes her bloom like the jasmine she wears on her hair. She keeps flitting to a secret world where being one with him- mind, body and spirit- is her only thought.

#shakuntalam

The Garam Masala Box

The smell of spices wafting from the spice shop nearby took me back to the year we got married and started setting up a home for ourselves. As part of building a home together, I went visiting a number of shops and among the things I had bought was a traditional masala box along with many other things. The box filled with a mixture of spices sat proudly on our kitchen counter as a symbol of the culinary experiments that awaited us. 

As we set up a home together, every day became an adventure. In the arena of cooking, I found joy in recreating dishes that brought a sparkle to your eyes. The subtle art of blending spices, the dance of flavors, and the aroma of dishes wafting from the kitchen all combined to create a magical effect. 

The evenings, in particular, hold a special place in my memory. In the evenings, I will select and find recipes that you might like and carefully prepare a meal, anticipating the look of surprise on your face when you walked through the door, weary from a long day's work. The compliment that followed, accompanied by a loving glance, was all the reward I needed, warming my heart for a long while. 

Akashdeep

On a beautiful Diwali night, she stands on the terrace watching the many diwali lamps set outside. She is holding the traditional lamp they had lit together on their wedding day when he had brought her home. 

As she set the lamps on the terrace, she prayed for all the living and dead souls in the family. She prayed for her husband before the tulsi so that they can watch together a thousand full moons. 

On a similar Diwali new moon night decades back, he had brought her home a beautiful bride, dressed in red silks and jewels, covered in red from tip to toe and bathed in a vermillion glow. In the meantime a good old wedding song played in the background the whole night. 

“Where shall I place my lamp in your silent home? Where shall I set my this heart? Once I set my eyes on you, there haven't been any other thought. You light up my life with your love and on this festival of lights I remember the time when we fell in love with each other. I love it when you hold me by the force of your love and do not let me go at all any moment. I have forgotten my roots and my troubles to come home with you and I will never leave your hand till the day I die, the song went. 

She feels at ease in her lighted courtyard, looks around and hums that song that was played on her first Diwali night in this home. She remembers how this place became her home after that day and she has always kept it well throughout the years. 

She takes a look at her husband, sleeping on his favourite armchair with a book in his hand. He must have slept off waiting for her to turn up after the household chores. She went up to him and caressed his unshaven face while looking at him affectionately. She played with strands of his grey hair while he moved and sighed in his sleep muttering her name. 

She goes on humming the same old wedding song and the sound of diwali crackers resound and echo across the whole place. She recalls how trials had come visiting them after their marriage and how they had stood by each other through them all. She thought of how they would celebrate this day every year as a reminder of how they had survived the obstacles that they had to face quite early in life and how this helped them bond with each other. 

Till midnight, she watches the diwali lights and the firecrackers from her balcony with him and they chat about the good times they shared and once again it's like the first time together. She smiled shyly at how he had looked at her with desire in his eyes, the first time he had embraced her and told her how beautiful she looked in the red saree he brought as her manthrakodi.