One morning, I saw her playing in the courtyard with the young women of
her age, wearing a crown of white lilies. Not that I would have payed much
attention but her merry laughter caught my ears and distracted me from my
thought. I was deep in thought for I had received new orders from my Abbot to
watch my steps. I was worried because that meant I was not free to go anywhere
and there were hints of imprisonment in his letter. I smiled looking at her
because it felt special, that laughter and the feeling it aroused in me.
At night, Asterius visited me with his two soldiers. Usually, he comes
alone and I am treated like a guest in his castle. Then in a very solemn
manner, he made me understand that the Emperor has requested him to detain me
as a prisoner till the Lupercal, which means till the Ides of February. He also
declared that under no circumstances was I allowed to meet anyone or use any of
the special privileges that the Abbot had permitted.
I was led to a room near the
castle gates that had barred windows and also a glimpse of the sky. There was
no sunshine or laughter any longer but from the day I was put in the room, I
began to receive flowers and letters from the young ones who wrote about their
lovers and their hopes of getting married once the Declaration of the Emperor
was cancelled. There were crowns of lilies that made me think of Julia every
time I saw them.
I think of writing a letter to Julia. Despite the sleepless nights, I
don’t feel tired at all. The only thing that is before me is her lovely face. What
I feel is that I met her so late in life, when in exile, when condemned to
death. Though I try to read my books on medicine, it is next to impossible
because of a longing to see her or to hear her voice. I have hardly known her
but I feel a kind of soul connection when I think of her.
