Samhain Prayer

Togetherness

You are my want, my need, my desire, my everything,
My one addiction that I never want to give up ever,
May be time- the years, the months and the days-
Might bring about a change in this feeling for you.

But I want you to know that after all these years,
I want yours to be the shoulder where I return to
With the broken scattered pieces to be held close,
And put together with a few words of consolation.

I want yours to be the eyes that hold my bold gaze,
To give in without holding anything back from me;
I want yours to be lips that greet me in surprise
To give ecstasy when most desired without saying so.

While you and I enjoy our days of mutual togetherness,
I want your love to be the kind that stays around forever.

Happy Diwali

forget

Heathcliff



Heathcliff

My love for Linton is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I'm well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for Heathcliff resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary. Nelly, I am Heathcliff! He's always, always in my mind: not as a pleasure, any more than I am always a pleasure to myself, but as my own being. So don't talk of our separation again: it is impracticable. 

When the snows fall and the cold bites hard

When the winds are rough in dark wintry nights,

He walks in the moors calling out her name,

One who loved him like the rocks underneath;

When her father brought him home one day

He was just a wild-haired gypsy child; sullen,

He loved her and rose up in life just to gain her,

While her own brother brought him up low.

He loved her more than his own dark self;

She chose not him but a wealthy gentleman;

He came back and drove her to madness

And lies buried next to her and her mate.

Many have heard them together laugh and sing

In dark wintry nights, gathering snowflakes.

#heathcliff

#wutheringheights

#catherineandheathcliff

Samhain

Surveillance Day

 An interesting day that reminds you of the totalitarian regimes as depicted in George Orwell's 1984, where Big B is always watching you and the concept of individual freedom is compromised to acts of surveillance of all sorts.Hell with totalitarianism.

Peace

Happy Independence Day

Affirmations for the Inner Child

How to Re-parent Your Inner Child

Vavu Bali

Happy Friendship Day

Vavu Bali

unconditional love

Karma

The Unsent Letters

Veerzara

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

Things I do in my spare time

What goes around comes around

Karma

Capital Punishment

The death penalty is not about whether people deserve to die for the crimes they commit. The real question of capital punishment in this country is, Do we deserve to kill?

Bryan Stevenson,  Just Mercy

Empathize

Love

Steps

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

SOS

I didn't run for shelter before the storm
But kept wandering with a sinking heart;
Meanwhile you slipped out of my fingers
Nor did I get back to the real destination.

After roaming around for years, here it is,
The same crossroads and the bittersweet,
Memories of a good life lost in the long run
While a hand that offered solace is now gone.

Now the roads stretch too wide and far
Nightmarish bleak turnstiles without you
You never knew the mirage of temptation
Or how the signs I followed have led me astray.

Finally, I find courage to write these words
For the winds to carry, before I drown again.

Glass-eye

The mind has lost its sharpness, it has become glass-eyed and sits wondering as to what has happened to it. It has lost its powers of conjuring up words after words and images after images.

This world looks desolate without what it has always loved, kept hidden like a treasure from the rest of the world. It weeps over the loss of cognition and wonders how it will survive in the years to come.

However, what hurts the most is its loss of live though most probably it would have been just a mirage and not reality.

Glass-eyed

This heart was a lone warrior, who fought against the injustices of life. Then you came along with the love-light in your eyes and changed this life upside down. You taught me how to look at myself through your eyes and how to love what I saw. It is in your love that I learnt how to be a woman and draw attention to myself. But before my heart was filled with this joy of togetherness, you went away leaving me behind.

Days, months and years when I thought I might have been dead, without you, without my own self that has forgotten how to speak and read. The books pile up before me, my own personal copies from the libraries, here, this and that yet I cannot read a line or understood a thing, a sort of glass-eyedness has taken possession of me. I feel that I need to get away, move out, create a new life but feel sad because I am no longer able to read the print before me, glass-eyed I sadly sit and stare out of the window, thinking of botched goodbyes and unpleasant endings to love stories. 

 But the memory of love that we shared then reaches out to me and I am glad that it was the best thing that happened to me in life.

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

Happy Raksha Bandhan

Some are brothers in spirit, some real. Anyways, always celebrating sibling ❤

Sanctity

For there no church bells, no crowds. There was no me looking splendid in a white gown or me crying thinking about leaving home. Only you and me, and a few who mattered, your parents who did everything to make our dream come true and of course, the God of silence, in whose presence we promised eternal companionship. 

No priest uttered the holy words, nor did the laity sing hymns of praise, only I closed my eyes with a smile as you tied the holy knot and bowed down, before you and God. I do not know what prayer my soul heaved, but there was much more in that silence than in the most profound of all prayers.

There were no teasing crowds afterwards, to tease us about our first day of togetherness, to bring blushes to you and me, only your ten pet budgies who watched quietly at the newcomer me glowing in their owner’s complete attention. 

Now many days have passed and we have learnt more about each other through words, touch and fights and the budgies have learnt how to speak in my presence. But it’s the God of silence, who reigns supreme with us as we felt on this Sunday when we stood quietly before his holy altar and prayed for abundant blessings throughout life. 

Blue Moon

The Tibetan Book of the Dead

Happy Onam

Flowers

Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.

Hridayam Thottathu

Earworm

For the one who never stops playing in my head;
Though time has brought so many changes around,
Though the seasons have changed all on a sudden-
You have stayed with me like a persistent song.

Once we were two wanderers in the strange lands;
Taking turns at the dreamer and the wanderer,
With fragile selves, outwardly rash and quiet,
With our naughty smiles that came from silences.

Now, the years have gone so by and your memory
Plays in my being like a soulful monsoon melody;
To cure one earworm, it sure needs another one,
You are no ordinary love-song,but one for life.

You are my all perfect earworm ever possible
That goes on playing from morning till midnight.

Dreams

The Unsent Letters

Chingam

When the much-awaited spring is around
You and I enjoy our days of togetherness, 
The scent of sweet jasmines on our bed
Your fingers undoing my long braided hair.

My six yards of kasavu sari all crumbled
Around your two yards of kasavu mundu
The sweetness of these long waiting years
That finds its way into your limbs and mine. 

We rest together after a sumptous onam feast
Amid smells of childhood and boatsongs
That you sing in your sweet mellow voice. 
To the snake-boats across the River Green. 

When the spring is finally around for us both
We reign an ancient king and his demure queen.

Musical healing

Fleeting Thoughts

What I feel is that these Covid times demand a shift in our thinking about life. I find myself to be disorganised and disorderly when compared to the pre- Covid times. 

On the other hand, one looks at the positive     effects such as simplifying one's needs, a minimalism of sorts that is made imperative by the system, an admiration for nature and spiritual life. 

Whatever be the pressures that are brought  about by the changing times, one is grateful for the sight of the full moon in the night sky or the flower on the wayside. Time and again, one remembers how fleeting human life is and eternal and beautiful❤nature is.

The Unsent Letters

Unsent Letters