The Unsent Letters

SOS

I didn't run for shelter before the storm
But kept wandering with a sinking heart;
Meanwhile you slipped out of my fingers
Nor did I get back to the real destination.

After roaming around for years, here it is,
The same crossroads and the bittersweet,
Memories of a good life lost in the long run
While a hand that offered solace is now gone.

Now the roads stretch too wide and far
Nightmarish bleak turnstiles without you
You never knew the mirage of temptation
Or how the signs I followed have led me astray.

Finally, I find courage to write these words
For the winds to carry, before I drown again.

Glass-eye

The mind has lost its sharpness, it has become glass-eyed and sits wondering as to what has happened to it. It has lost its powers of conjuring up words after words and images after images.

This world looks desolate without what it has always loved, kept hidden like a treasure from the rest of the world. It weeps over the loss of cognition and wonders how it will survive in the years to come.

However, what hurts the most is its loss of live though most probably it would have been just a mirage and not reality.

Glass-eyed

This heart was a lone warrior, who fought against the injustices of life. Then you came along with the love-light in your eyes and changed this life upside down. You taught me how to look at myself through your eyes and how to love what I saw. It is in your love that I learnt how to be a woman and draw attention to myself. But before my heart was filled with this joy of togetherness, you went away leaving me behind.

Days, months and years when I thought I might have been dead, without you, without my own self that has forgotten how to speak and read. The books pile up before me, my own personal copies from the libraries, here, this and that yet I cannot read a line or understood a thing, a sort of glass-eyedness has taken possession of me. I feel that I need to get away, move out, create a new life but feel sad because I am no longer able to read the print before me, glass-eyed I sadly sit and stare out of the window, thinking of botched goodbyes and unpleasant endings to love stories. 

 But the memory of love that we shared then reaches out to me and I am glad that it was the best thing that happened to me in life.

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

Happy Raksha Bandhan

Some are brothers in spirit, some real. Anyways, always celebrating sibling ❤

Sanctity

For there no church bells, no crowds. There was no me looking splendid in a white gown or me crying thinking about leaving home. Only you and me, and a few who mattered, your parents who did everything to make our dream come true and of course, the God of silence, in whose presence we promised eternal companionship. 

No priest uttered the holy words, nor did the laity sing hymns of praise, only I closed my eyes with a smile as you tied the holy knot and bowed down, before you and God. I do not know what prayer my soul heaved, but there was much more in that silence than in the most profound of all prayers.

There were no teasing crowds afterwards, to tease us about our first day of togetherness, to bring blushes to you and me, only your ten pet budgies who watched quietly at the newcomer me glowing in their owner’s complete attention. 

Now many days have passed and we have learnt more about each other through words, touch and fights and the budgies have learnt how to speak in my presence. But it’s the God of silence, who reigns supreme with us as we felt on this Sunday when we stood quietly before his holy altar and prayed for abundant blessings throughout life. 

Blue Moon

The Tibetan Book of the Dead

Happy Onam

Flowers

Don't hurry. Don't worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.

Hridayam Thottathu

Earworm

For the one who never stops playing in my head;
Though time has brought so many changes around,
Though the seasons have changed all on a sudden-
You have stayed with me like a persistent song.

Once we were two wanderers in the strange lands;
Taking turns at the dreamer and the wanderer,
With fragile selves, outwardly rash and quiet,
With our naughty smiles that came from silences.

Now, the years have gone so by and your memory
Plays in my being like a soulful monsoon melody;
To cure one earworm, it sure needs another one,
You are no ordinary love-song,but one for life.

You are my all perfect earworm ever possible
That goes on playing from morning till midnight.

Dreams

The Unsent Letters

Chingam

When the much-awaited spring is around
You and I enjoy our days of togetherness, 
The scent of sweet jasmines on our bed
Your fingers undoing my long braided hair.

My six yards of kasavu sari all crumbled
Around your two yards of kasavu mundu
The sweetness of these long waiting years
That finds its way into your limbs and mine. 

We rest together after a sumptous onam feast
Amid smells of childhood and boatsongs
That you sing in your sweet mellow voice. 
To the snake-boats across the River Green. 

When the spring is finally around for us both
We reign an ancient king and his demure queen.

Musical healing

Fleeting Thoughts

What I feel is that these Covid times demand a shift in our thinking about life. I find myself to be disorganised and disorderly when compared to the pre- Covid times. 

On the other hand, one looks at the positive     effects such as simplifying one's needs, a minimalism of sorts that is made imperative by the system, an admiration for nature and spiritual life. 

Whatever be the pressures that are brought  about by the changing times, one is grateful for the sight of the full moon in the night sky or the flower on the wayside. Time and again, one remembers how fleeting human life is and eternal and beautiful❤nature is.

The Unsent Letters

Unsent Letters

Trojan Horse

I, dweller of a modern city loves to wander in yours, 
In that enchanted world you collaged out of lores,
The worlds have changed but man is the same ever,
So do your ancient words resonate in my ears.

A Trojan horse means not the same for you and me, 
For you, it was a false step, a free gift regretted.
For me in an age of virtual lives and technology,
It’s a sign that soul is dead, so are god and love.

Starting from an ancient stealth trick of war, 
The modern free gift is across the world,
In the guise of one world and friendship
 To steal, to harm and never to feel remorse. 

What lessons do we learn from Odysseus,
Are the lessons most needed in this world.

A good ending

She was like many of us, driven and strong

Who travelled not the well-beaten paths

But made it on her own through the foliage

In the process, lost old loves and found new.

The journey was never the same throughout,

There were really tough times that broke her

She trod step by step, day by day all along

Till she got what she wanted throughout life.

But when she met him again, her childhood mate

There was a spark of affection, pure unlimited

It was as if she wanted him to stay with her

With all the force of her childhood prayers.

It's with the same sense that we see her again

Beaming her childhood smile with him around.

The Ritual Cat

When the spiritual teacher and his disciples began their evening meditation, the cat who lived in the monastery made such noise that it distracted them. So the teacher ordered that the cat be tied up during the evening practice. Years later, when the teacher died, the cat continued to be tied up during the meditation session. And when the cat eventually died, another cat was brought to the monastery and tied up. Centuries later, learned descendants of the spiritual teacher wrote scholarly treatises about the religious significance of tying up a cat for meditation practice.

Eternal love

Your love was a treasure I should have held close,
Without a word uttered to anyone about what we'd,
Without a soul to know the magic that we shared;
Yet what I did was to sing from the rooftops.

Time went by ruthlessly turning all love into dust,
Shrouding this love with absence and forgetfulness,
Causing much heartache and jealousy for this heart
Who cannot bear to lose you to another any day.

The piece of earth in me loves the rain of memories,
The way the love light in your eyes could bring life,
With the positive energy that only you could bring,
Rare fantasies, hardly said aloud or acknowledged.

However, this love has its days of life and death
What makes it special is its stubborn refusal to die.

menstruation

periods

Akshay 'Kumar's Padman

twinflame

Gratitude

                  

Just be

2021

The Year of the Metal Rooster

In the Year of the Metal Rooster,
Big events were happening daily,
When a Water Dragon and a Wood Sheep
Decided to have some fun one day.

The earliest cells must have dreamt,
Of the rain and the soft music it made,
On the tin roof and window-panes,
While the elements mixed together.

What strange elements blended,
What fires and what blue-green oceans,
To form this mysterious phenomenon,
Welcome or unwelcome, God knows.

The story of me might have began,
In the Year of the Metal Rooster as fun.

Maktub

The sun

Olive Ridley Sea Turtle

just be

Haudsaunee

World Malala Day

Today, we celebrate World Malala Day in honour of Malala Yousafzai who fought for female education and human rights.

Togetherness

To my future child

World Population Day

Twin flame Prayer Improvised

May we recognise that we are not separate but whole even though we might not have even met. For you were always with me in each and every birth of mine and someday I might recognise you from the smile on your lips. 

May we meet someday somewhere and form an effortless harmonious bond. May we escape from the usual trials and tribulations that follow all twin flames. May our true love that spans several lifetimes set a path for us to be in harmony with each other. 

May we be fortunate to experience each other in all lifetimes, fortunate enough to feel the hunger of the flesh, the thirst of the soul and the comfort of the heart. May we remember with accuracy the touch of each other's skins, the smell of each other's bodies, the taste of each other's lips and the tone of each other's voices through eternity. 

May we be always together and in harmony with each other savouring each and every moment of this life together. May we always feel synchronicity and enjoy the paths that life sets in store before us. May we live together till the last breath lives from our earthly bodies to settle down in other realms of existence. 

May we love each other throughout all ages and all lives forever. May we learn unconditional love quite early enough so that we know each other's strengths and weaknesses and accept them open-heartedly without being judgmental. May we love, adore and cherish each other in our hearts. 

#twinflame

#reunion

#twinflamereunion 

#reunion

#improvisedtwinflameprayer

Living Beings

Education

Where the mind is without fear

Body positive

Be brave

Meditation

What wonders have time brought, 

All at my window. 

The numbers keep changing, 

Every day new life springs, 

Out of old ways of thought. 

Oneness with the universe, 

With a thousand kindred souls,

Spread across the earth, 

Space and time and universe. 

Sitting before my gizmo, 

I wander with delight, 

Through snow-covered landscapes, 

Gather in my curious hands 

Sheaves of snow-sprinkled blossoms.

A bird spreading its wings, 

The earth from space or a tiny flower 

A thousand scented candles

All new ways of bringing me back, 

To my centre, my self- 

All at my window. 

Kiss

Abhimanyu

            You are your own refuge. 

Kiss Goodnight

For one who has longed to see your smile, for one who has longed to taste your lips again, for one who has lived just for another day of togetherness, each day has been a day of love, each second was a celebration of your love and each lifetime a way of getting you back...International Kiss Day❤