Thunderstorm

The tiny yellow leaves in his hair made me feel a strange tenderness for him. It created in me a strange desire to run my fingers through his hair and to experience an intimacy that beckoned me like a forbidden dream. This need hit me like a thunderstorm, the first time I had gazed deep into his eyes. 

May be it was because he was waiting under the trees, may be because though he said he didn't wait much, but his eyes flickered with a strange delight when he heard my footsteps. It was as if he had missed me every moment of the weekend and his eyes might devour me with their hunger. 

Every time, I looked into his eyes, it was as if I I could hear the roar of the thunderstorm. For me, whose ears long for his words, whose eyes thirst for his gaze, whose heart longs for his embrace, whose skin hungers for his touch, the reality steps in and mutters that it is enough to hear this roar of the thunderstorm every single day.

Positive Affirmations

Positive Affirmations

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. I now choose calmly and objectively to see my old patterns, and I am willing to make changes. I choose to react as though I have found a treasure when I discover something else to release.

I am teachable. I can learn. I am willing to change. I choose to have fun doing this.I see and feel myself changing moment by moment.Thoughts no longer have any power over me. I am the power in the world. I choose to be free. All is well in my world. 

Chance

Flow with the tide, not against it. When you feel that change is necessary, be willing to change and do not try to resist it. Be very flexible. Keep open, and never let your attitude be 'What was good enough for my parents is good enough for me.' Change will never come if that is your attitude, and changes must come. The new cannot fit into the old mould because the new has outgrown the old and needs more room. Give it more room by expanding with it. It need not be a painful process when there is no resistance. When a plant is pot-bound, it needs to be repotted to allow its roots to expand. When your consciousness has outgrown the old con ceptions, it needs to be allowed to expand into new realms. This process can come about very naturally; there need not be any stress or strain. Simply let go, relax and feel yourself changing and expanding as naturally as breathing, moving out of the old into the new.

We Are Free to Be Ourselves

In order to be whole, we must accept all of ourselves. So let your heart open and make plenty of room in there for all the parts of yourself. The parts you are proud of and the parts that embarrass you. The parts you reject and the parts you love. They are all of you. You are beautiful. We all are. When your heart is full of love for yourself, then you have so much to share with others. 

Let this love now fill your room and permeate out to all the people that you know. Put the people you want in the center of your room so that they can receive the love from your overflowing heart. From your child to theirs. Now see all the children in all the people dancing as children dance, skipping and shouting and turning somersaults and cartwheels, filled with exuberant joy. Expressing all the best of the child within.

She

Her heart is large enough
To hold you close to her;
For she is not of this world.

She is foolish in her ways;
Poundwise or pennywise;
For she is not of this world.

She didn't give me a staff
Nor a bag for my journeys;
For she is not of this world.

Nor enough to nourish me
Like the others did theirs.
For she is not of this world.

But she loved me enough
To let me learn by model
To learn lessons my way.

Mom

All I wanted was a book of recipes like yours
Like the one you kept like a hidden treasure,
On special occasions, you'd leave the kitchen
Smelling of spices, roast chicken and plum cake.

The wild shopping spree just before Christmas,
The cake-mixing at midnight done together,
The written recipes followed to the last line
The spontaneous tweaks to the plans that I make.

This book of magic is abandoned after this loss,
Though the Christmas flavours linger in the air,
Goodwill, happiness and merriment-the first time
I had celebrated Christmas with flavours at home.

The secret recipes, the love of wine and laughter
All are lessons that I have learnt from you, mom.

Icarus and the Sun

Anam Cara

Sometimes, the answer comes late for some seekers. The lonely roads may wear you out; the skies might turn bleak and hostile; the days might spent without ever having a soul to breathe your worries to. 

There is always this desire, the need for warmth, for compassion, for meaningless chatter and meaningful silences yet the road is quite lonely. 

Much later at a turnstile, you might meet a traveller in whose eyes you might see eternity, in whose warmth all your wanderlust might be kindled again, in whose extended hand you might see a soul connection. 

There might be others who have gone ahead and reached their destinations long ago but your blessing is that you value the wisdom taught by the lonely roads, the weary feet and the warmth of your long-desired for companion. 

Photo Courtesy: flickr.com

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

An interesting book that I recently came across is the spiritual classic The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. It is quite rare to encounter books that offer you spiritual wisdom that helps you come to terms with two tough realities; life and death. Here, Sogyal Rinpoche offers you words of enlightenment that helps you see both life and death in a new light.

Sogyal Rinpoche is one of the enlightened leaders of Tibetan Buddhism and was born in Kham in Eastern Tibet. He was recognised as the reincarnation of Terton Sogyal Lerab Lingpa, teacher to the thirteenth Dalai lama. His lifelong effort has been to make Tibetan Buddhism understandable to the common believers across the world.

In this book, he expresses with clarity and eloquence, the ancient wisdom of Tibet that has survived the test of time. He speaks of life and death with the same importance and describes how the Tibetan monks accept both with simplicity and open-mindedness. Despite of cultural differences, a reader might be interested in the Tibetan practices of life and death.

The preoccupation with death is a common theme in spiritual literature. However, in this book, Rinpoche speaks of death as an ultimate reality that everyone had to face and the ways in which we can prepare for our death, just like changing your clothes when they are worn out, as His Holiness the Dalai Lama says in his Foreword to the book. The writer speaks of the ways to understand the meaning of life, how to accept death and how to help the dying and the dead.

According to the Buddhist belief system, you will be reincarnated based on your karma and your state of mind at the time of death can influence the quality of your next rebirth. One tradition the Buddhist have is to achieve a peaceful death and help others achieve a peaceful death. Usually, death is treated with disdain in many cultures but the Buddhists embrace death with equanimity. However,the book reinforces the need to offer spiritual help for the dying so that they can die peacefully and in a state of contentment with life. It also helps one to live with mindfulness and compassion.

1

Diya P Na

Dear Diary

The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad

The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad by Twinkle Khanna

When I was reading Twinkle Khanna's The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad, what I found is that the writer shows an amazing perception of the character's needs without being so obvious about it. But googling about the work, what I saw is a kind of patronising attitude to a writer just because she is a celebrity daughter and wife apart from being an actress. However, the short stories are quite readable and the story that I loved tbe most in this collection is "The Sanitary Man from a Sacred Land".

The first among the four stories is "The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad" is about Lakshmi who wants ten jardalu trees planted for a girl child so that the child's future is secure right from her birth-"ten trees like the ten fingers which we women can hold our own destinies firmly in our hands". Thus begins the ritual of the jardalu, which is celebrated in her village with the birth of a girl child, when people from any caste, even those with no land of their own can plant trees for their daughters.

The second story "Salaam, Noni Appa" is about love that transcends all barriers. Noni Appa and Binny are two elderly women who live a life of seclusion. The elder sister Noni Appa is rather sweet on their yoga teacher Anandji. What starts as an eagerness to meet him, ends up as her sole reason to live. When Noni Appa is ill, Anandji leaves all his business aside, packs his luggage and comes to live with her. This story is very touching for one remembers the ambience of love that breaks all rules though the other stories are much more conventional.

"If the Weather Permits" begins in Kerala and is about Elisa Thomas, hailing from traditional Malayali Christian household. When forced to get married, she marries a photographer friend of hers but is disappointed when the bridegroom turns suicidal. Divorced, she gets married to Chacko, from a wealthy Christian family and shocked into a sense of deja vu. All she wants to know is whether she has to return to her ancestral home that smells of fish moilee.

The fourth story, according to me, is the best story of the collection. Ms. Khanna has based this story on Padma Shri Arunchalam Muruganantham who is a social worker who works hard to remove the taboos associated with menstruation. Bablu Kewat loves to bring surprises for his wife -"four bangles, a packet of orange bindis, a 5star chocolate". Saddened by the rag that she uses for her monthlies, he brings her pads and new kinds of experimental pads that are made of absorbent material. He questions the women of his acquaintance about their monthlies and this earns him the name pervert. His friends tease him that he should have been born a woman so that "it would have been so much easier to just test the pads yourself". But his determination wins and he becomes the inventor of the low-cost sanitray pad making machine.

The stories are varied in their themes but very endearing to the reader. What I feel is that the last among them is the most touching, of a man who wants to bring happiness to his wife and ends up being a hero to many Indian women from the nearby villages.

 #TwinkleKhanna 

#thelegendoflakshmiprasad

#love

#divorce

#geriatriclove

#menstruation

On Air

The way your memory creeps up before my eyes

The way you croon your favourite songs and mine,

The songs that have stayed despite the long years

Playful, naughty, sad, philosophical or just pleasant.

The songs that bring you back to me wherever I am

Wild dreams of being one with you body and soul

Spending endless hours in embraces like creepers

Despite the long sad years of absence and longing.

Though I long for our lost days with a heavy heart,

Those days of endless sunshine that were so perfect

Your sweet voice singing your favourites and mine

During all seasons and all times, every single day.

The songs that I listen on the radio this morning

Brings back a smile in this era of infinite longing.

Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls

What comes first to my mind, when I think of the onset of periods is the Maturity Celebration in Tamil Nadu shown in the song Thandatti Karuppayi from the film Kaadhal starring Sandhya and Bharath. However, this might be a  popular media depiction of a girl hailing from a rich background as we read of girls who skip school they cannot afford sanitary pads  or girls who use rags and sawdust during this time. For most of the girls in my generation, menarche came as a surprise or even shock as most of us didn’t know why we were bleeding. As Aditi Gupta says in her TED Talks, A taboo-free way to talk about periods, some even though they had blood cancer. 

The generation before that probably never spoke the word aloud. The generation before that must have never have heard of sanitary pads. But when one clearly remembers the trauma of the first period at school or the kind of experiences of your clothes showing signs of it, through firsthand or second hand experiences.Nowadays, the onset of menarche is quite early when compared to the previous generations because of various reasons. Children learn about periods quite early from their peers who have early or through books and films. However, it is good to educate them about what periods is all about.  So, a sign of the changing times can be seen in a book by Aditi Gupta named Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls. 

The book talks about menstruation and the processes that are behind it in the form of a comic. It aims at dissipating some of the myths that surround menstruation and in bringing about a healthy view of it as a natural biological process. The book is in the form of a story where Priya Didi speaks about menstrual hygiene and health to her younger cousin and her friends Jiya and Mira. This is highly recommended for young girls who will learn to see periods positively. This book is available on amazon. 

Big Panda and Tiny Dragon

What comforts your soul, when it is weary with life and cannot go on, what brings you back to the centre when you feel drained of your vital energy, are words written by some strange wise person living in some place and time. 

Like a young person perusing loveletters, one reads words of comfort from an unknown hand from an unknown land as if they were written just for your eyes. You feel sustained by their wisdom and they make sense like pieces in a jigsaw coming together. It feels like an unreal experience where the hand of Providence set them right before your eyes to nourish your strength and you feel grateful that you didn't give up this time either. 

One such book that I came across recently is James Norbury's Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. 

When I first saw a page out of this book, I thought it was a book meant for children. But on reading a few pages online, I understood that it contained allegories of life. Through the dialogue between the two characters Big Panda and Tiny Dragon, the author offers a different perspective on the vicissitudes of life. However, the specialty of this book is that you tend to return to it time and again when your soul needs repose. 

The author states that he was strengthened in a difficult situation in life after reading a book on Buddhism he bought from a second hand shop. His interest in spirituality and meditation can be seen in Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. He recognised the depth of human suffering and tried to give support to people who needed help. He began using his art as a form of communicating the wisdom that he learnt from difficult times. The book stays with you even after you have put it down. 

Daily

Let me watch the stars with you;

The warmth of a lovely sunrise;
Let me travel with you once again
To a home near the River Green;

Let us play in the shallow waters
Like always in a lost sacred childhood.
Let me stand with you near a grave
Lost in renovation and forgetfulness;

Let me find love once again with you;
The lost beauty of love and smiles;
Let me sit beside you in a snakeboat
As it floats across the blue waters.

Let me colour this circle of life again
With a spot of red from your hands.

Pic: ndtv

Marriage of frogs

Waiting for the rains

At the sacred space by the temple, on a platform of red bricks,
The saffron-clad priest chanted in high tones, the ancient prayers for rain,
Amidst the blazing summers, to the Gods of the sky and the wind,
Where the green fields of yesterdays have become parched,
Dried up devoid of any trace of life,
While people draped in earth-coloured cottons chanted,
With the sun scorching their wheat-coloured skins.

Children played by the dried up temple pond,
Thinking of the days where they splashed in the cool water,
Sat idly in the cool recesses of the rocks,
Or chattering with the juice of ripe mangoes
Oozing on their hands and faces.

The ancient chanting went on incessantly, in a land of purity,
Where none could wash or bathe except in the muddy pond waters,
The holy fires blazed along with the hot afternoons,
When none could sleep, for the heat numbed and killed,

Oh you rain; much awaited, the boon of heavens,
That brings joy to the earth, wealth to its people,
Oh you rain, come with thunder and lightning,
And soak our brown skins with delight,
Oh rain, the fulfillment of forecasts and incessant prayers,
I invoke you in the names of the barren earth,
The dried up rivers and lakes, the animals and birds,
The silent trees and the people on earth.

You end the blazing afternoons of summer heat,
With the first drops of summer rain,
You set the warm smell of earth rising,
And bedeck trees with jewels like brides,
From furnace hot afternoons to nights of restless pace.
For you, incense is burnt and prayers chanted,
For you, the comforter in candent days,
Oh rain, come and give us comfort, the priest sang.

On the third day of endless repentance and prayers,
Grey and white dappled clouds rose to silhouette the sky,
With hints of a sudden outburst,
The entire city rejoiced, the wait is over,
Days of drought are finally over,
With bolts of thunder and lightning,
The soft rain slushed over the crowd,
Who received in open hands stretched to skies
What the heavens granted as comfort
From the scorching heat of Indian summer.

The rain fell over the blazing holy fire,
With the priest and the crowd soaked in the rain,
And the beaming children screamed at the ripples,
Forming on the muddy waters of the temple pond.

Barsaat

Rain has been a very interesting theme in literature and multimedia. There have been plenty of love-songs with rain in the background and the heroines in the focus or with the lyrics that deal with an emotional downpour. In Half Girlfriend, one of the recently released films, there is a song Baarish in which the heroine steps out spontaneously into the rain. May be because of the summer heat,  I find myself humming a few of my favourite rain songs:

1. Mausam : This song  by Mehnaz has been a favourite back from the Channel V and MTV watching days, when the first thing on the mind after coming back from college was to listen to the latest songs. This song is about a girl who is on a  train journey  to her hometown  and the memories she has about her lover. 
2. Barsaat: This slow number by Adnan Sami tells what it wants to tell the beloved. The longing to have someone you love next you when it rains, is beautifully expressed in this song taken from the album Kabhi to Nazar Milao (which from the trivia encylopedia starred a Mrs. India).
3. Aaoge Jab Tum: This song from Jab We Met does not have rain in the backdrop  but deals with unrequited love and the longing for the loved one to return.
4.  Bhoondon se baaatein: This song from Thakshak has a beautiful Tabu dressed in royal blue dancing in the rain. The lyrics explain what the rain is and how she wants to talk to the raindrops. 
5. Sawan Barse: This song from Dahek has Sonali Bendre and Akshay who are getting ready to meet each other and the rain comes as an obstacle in a busy city of  Mumbai. 
6.  Barso Re:  This song from Guru was a surprise with a svelte Aiswarya dancing like a peacock with the rains. 
7. Ab Ke Sawan: Set in the background of a Bengali community, this song by Shubha Mudgal celebrates love and longing across the different age groups. 
8. Hum Tum:  This song is one that brings in a feeling of nostalgia with the various fantasies that plays in the mind of the heroine. 
9. Tip Tip Barsa pani: I think the right name for a hot song was a sizzler  in the 90s and it does not surprise the viewer in the least. However, a recent version by Neha Kakkar is a beautiful rendition.
10.  Sawan Aaya Hai: This song from a completely ridiculous film Creature is about the season of monsoon. Mohabbat barsa dena tu, sawan aaya hai!

Rain

It was a day taken out of the movies- the rain, coffee and us. We had to get back to work and on an impulse, we walked in the rain. There was a couple ahead of us, with the woman covering the man’s head with the pallu of her sari. This made us laugh and I think what I thought was that my flimsy dupatta was not enough to cover you. 

I don’t think there was a magical day like that one and I couldn’t sleep a wink that night because of my new-found knowledge that I had fallen in love with you.I tried talking to you but the words did not come out and I couldn’t say anything meaningful to you. Now, looking back what I feel is that this would have ended that day had I taken some courage to say what I wanted. 

But what always happened was that I knew that we came from two different worlds of understanding and spoke in a common language only when it was necessary. The rest was all my making, an imaginary world where I was rejected and where I wrote words after words about you. What remains of a walk in the summer rain are some memories and so many words scattered across endless pages. Though these sound so immature and childish, these words were my way to get out of a habit of worshipping you like a God.

The Unsent Letters