Anam Cara

Sometimes, the answer comes late for some seekers. The lonely roads may wear you out; the skies might turn bleak and hostile; the days might spent without ever having a soul to breathe your worries to. 

There is always this desire, the need for warmth, for compassion, for meaningless chatter and meaningful silences yet the road is quite lonely. 

Much later at a turnstile, you might meet a traveller in whose eyes you might see eternity, in whose warmth all your wanderlust might be kindled again, in whose extended hand you might see a soul connection. 

There might be others who have gone ahead and reached their destinations long ago but your blessing is that you value the wisdom taught by the lonely roads, the weary feet and the warmth of your long-desired for companion. 

Photo Courtesy: flickr.com

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying

An interesting book that I recently came across is the spiritual classic The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying. It is quite rare to encounter books that offer you spiritual wisdom that helps you come to terms with two tough realities; life and death. Here, Sogyal Rinpoche offers you words of enlightenment that helps you see both life and death in a new light.

Sogyal Rinpoche is one of the enlightened leaders of Tibetan Buddhism and was born in Kham in Eastern Tibet. He was recognised as the reincarnation of Terton Sogyal Lerab Lingpa, teacher to the thirteenth Dalai lama. His lifelong effort has been to make Tibetan Buddhism understandable to the common believers across the world.

In this book, he expresses with clarity and eloquence, the ancient wisdom of Tibet that has survived the test of time. He speaks of life and death with the same importance and describes how the Tibetan monks accept both with simplicity and open-mindedness. Despite of cultural differences, a reader might be interested in the Tibetan practices of life and death.

The preoccupation with death is a common theme in spiritual literature. However, in this book, Rinpoche speaks of death as an ultimate reality that everyone had to face and the ways in which we can prepare for our death, just like changing your clothes when they are worn out, as His Holiness the Dalai Lama says in his Foreword to the book. The writer speaks of the ways to understand the meaning of life, how to accept death and how to help the dying and the dead.

According to the Buddhist belief system, you will be reincarnated based on your karma and your state of mind at the time of death can influence the quality of your next rebirth. One tradition the Buddhist have is to achieve a peaceful death and help others achieve a peaceful death. Usually, death is treated with disdain in many cultures but the Buddhists embrace death with equanimity. However,the book reinforces the need to offer spiritual help for the dying so that they can die peacefully and in a state of contentment with life. It also helps one to live with mindfulness and compassion.

1

Diya P Na

Dear Diary

The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad

The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad by Twinkle Khanna

When I was reading Twinkle Khanna's The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad, what I found is that the writer shows an amazing perception of the character's needs without being so obvious about it. But googling about the work, what I saw is a kind of patronising attitude to a writer just because she is a celebrity daughter and wife apart from being an actress. However, the short stories are quite readable and the story that I loved tbe most in this collection is "The Sanitary Man from a Sacred Land".

The first among the four stories is "The Legend of Lakshmi Prasad" is about Lakshmi who wants ten jardalu trees planted for a girl child so that the child's future is secure right from her birth-"ten trees like the ten fingers which we women can hold our own destinies firmly in our hands". Thus begins the ritual of the jardalu, which is celebrated in her village with the birth of a girl child, when people from any caste, even those with no land of their own can plant trees for their daughters.

The second story "Salaam, Noni Appa" is about love that transcends all barriers. Noni Appa and Binny are two elderly women who live a life of seclusion. The elder sister Noni Appa is rather sweet on their yoga teacher Anandji. What starts as an eagerness to meet him, ends up as her sole reason to live. When Noni Appa is ill, Anandji leaves all his business aside, packs his luggage and comes to live with her. This story is very touching for one remembers the ambience of love that breaks all rules though the other stories are much more conventional.

"If the Weather Permits" begins in Kerala and is about Elisa Thomas, hailing from traditional Malayali Christian household. When forced to get married, she marries a photographer friend of hers but is disappointed when the bridegroom turns suicidal. Divorced, she gets married to Chacko, from a wealthy Christian family and shocked into a sense of deja vu. All she wants to know is whether she has to return to her ancestral home that smells of fish moilee.

The fourth story, according to me, is the best story of the collection. Ms. Khanna has based this story on Padma Shri Arunchalam Muruganantham who is a social worker who works hard to remove the taboos associated with menstruation. Bablu Kewat loves to bring surprises for his wife -"four bangles, a packet of orange bindis, a 5star chocolate". Saddened by the rag that she uses for her monthlies, he brings her pads and new kinds of experimental pads that are made of absorbent material. He questions the women of his acquaintance about their monthlies and this earns him the name pervert. His friends tease him that he should have been born a woman so that "it would have been so much easier to just test the pads yourself". But his determination wins and he becomes the inventor of the low-cost sanitray pad making machine.

The stories are varied in their themes but very endearing to the reader. What I feel is that the last among them is the most touching, of a man who wants to bring happiness to his wife and ends up being a hero to many Indian women from the nearby villages.

 #TwinkleKhanna 

#thelegendoflakshmiprasad

#love

#divorce

#geriatriclove

#menstruation

On Air

The way your memory creeps up before my eyes

The way you croon your favourite songs and mine,

The songs that have stayed despite the long years

Playful, naughty, sad, philosophical or just pleasant.

The songs that bring you back to me wherever I am

Wild dreams of being one with you body and soul

Spending endless hours in embraces like creepers

Despite the long sad years of absence and longing.

Though I long for our lost days with a heavy heart,

Those days of endless sunshine that were so perfect

Your sweet voice singing your favourites and mine

During all seasons and all times, every single day.

The songs that I listen on the radio this morning

Brings back a smile in this era of infinite longing.

Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls

What comes first to my mind, when I think of the onset of periods is the Maturity Celebration in Tamil Nadu shown in the song Thandatti Karuppayi from the film Kaadhal starring Sandhya and Bharath. However, this might be a  popular media depiction of a girl hailing from a rich background as we read of girls who skip school they cannot afford sanitary pads  or girls who use rags and sawdust during this time. For most of the girls in my generation, menarche came as a surprise or even shock as most of us didn’t know why we were bleeding. As Aditi Gupta says in her TED Talks, A taboo-free way to talk about periods, some even though they had blood cancer. 

The generation before that probably never spoke the word aloud. The generation before that must have never have heard of sanitary pads. But when one clearly remembers the trauma of the first period at school or the kind of experiences of your clothes showing signs of it, through firsthand or second hand experiences.Nowadays, the onset of menarche is quite early when compared to the previous generations because of various reasons. Children learn about periods quite early from their peers who have early or through books and films. However, it is good to educate them about what periods is all about.  So, a sign of the changing times can be seen in a book by Aditi Gupta named Menstrupedia Comic: The Friendly Guide to Periods for Girls. 

The book talks about menstruation and the processes that are behind it in the form of a comic. It aims at dissipating some of the myths that surround menstruation and in bringing about a healthy view of it as a natural biological process. The book is in the form of a story where Priya Didi speaks about menstrual hygiene and health to her younger cousin and her friends Jiya and Mira. This is highly recommended for young girls who will learn to see periods positively. This book is available on amazon. 

Big Panda and Tiny Dragon

What comforts your soul, when it is weary with life and cannot go on, what brings you back to the centre when you feel drained of your vital energy, are words written by some strange wise person living in some place and time. 

Like a young person perusing loveletters, one reads words of comfort from an unknown hand from an unknown land as if they were written just for your eyes. You feel sustained by their wisdom and they make sense like pieces in a jigsaw coming together. It feels like an unreal experience where the hand of Providence set them right before your eyes to nourish your strength and you feel grateful that you didn't give up this time either. 

One such book that I came across recently is James Norbury's Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. 

When I first saw a page out of this book, I thought it was a book meant for children. But on reading a few pages online, I understood that it contained allegories of life. Through the dialogue between the two characters Big Panda and Tiny Dragon, the author offers a different perspective on the vicissitudes of life. However, the specialty of this book is that you tend to return to it time and again when your soul needs repose. 

The author states that he was strengthened in a difficult situation in life after reading a book on Buddhism he bought from a second hand shop. His interest in spirituality and meditation can be seen in Big Panda and Tiny Dragon. He recognised the depth of human suffering and tried to give support to people who needed help. He began using his art as a form of communicating the wisdom that he learnt from difficult times. The book stays with you even after you have put it down. 

Daily

Let me watch the stars with you;

The warmth of a lovely sunrise;
Let me travel with you once again
To a home near the River Green;

Let us play in the shallow waters
Like always in a lost sacred childhood.
Let me stand with you near a grave
Lost in renovation and forgetfulness;

Let me find love once again with you;
The lost beauty of love and smiles;
Let me sit beside you in a snakeboat
As it floats across the blue waters.

Let me colour this circle of life again
With a spot of red from your hands.

Pic: ndtv

Marriage of frogs

Waiting for the rains

At the sacred space by the temple, on a platform of red bricks,
The saffron-clad priest chanted in high tones, the ancient prayers for rain,
Amidst the blazing summers, to the Gods of the sky and the wind,
Where the green fields of yesterdays have become parched,
Dried up devoid of any trace of life,
While people draped in earth-coloured cottons chanted,
With the sun scorching their wheat-coloured skins.

Children played by the dried up temple pond,
Thinking of the days where they splashed in the cool water,
Sat idly in the cool recesses of the rocks,
Or chattering with the juice of ripe mangoes
Oozing on their hands and faces.

The ancient chanting went on incessantly, in a land of purity,
Where none could wash or bathe except in the muddy pond waters,
The holy fires blazed along with the hot afternoons,
When none could sleep, for the heat numbed and killed,

Oh you rain; much awaited, the boon of heavens,
That brings joy to the earth, wealth to its people,
Oh you rain, come with thunder and lightning,
And soak our brown skins with delight,
Oh rain, the fulfillment of forecasts and incessant prayers,
I invoke you in the names of the barren earth,
The dried up rivers and lakes, the animals and birds,
The silent trees and the people on earth.

You end the blazing afternoons of summer heat,
With the first drops of summer rain,
You set the warm smell of earth rising,
And bedeck trees with jewels like brides,
From furnace hot afternoons to nights of restless pace.
For you, incense is burnt and prayers chanted,
For you, the comforter in candent days,
Oh rain, come and give us comfort, the priest sang.

On the third day of endless repentance and prayers,
Grey and white dappled clouds rose to silhouette the sky,
With hints of a sudden outburst,
The entire city rejoiced, the wait is over,
Days of drought are finally over,
With bolts of thunder and lightning,
The soft rain slushed over the crowd,
Who received in open hands stretched to skies
What the heavens granted as comfort
From the scorching heat of Indian summer.

The rain fell over the blazing holy fire,
With the priest and the crowd soaked in the rain,
And the beaming children screamed at the ripples,
Forming on the muddy waters of the temple pond.

Barsaat

Rain has been a very interesting theme in literature and multimedia. There have been plenty of love-songs with rain in the background and the heroines in the focus or with the lyrics that deal with an emotional downpour. In Half Girlfriend, one of the recently released films, there is a song Baarish in which the heroine steps out spontaneously into the rain. May be because of the summer heat,  I find myself humming a few of my favourite rain songs:

1. Mausam : This song  by Mehnaz has been a favourite back from the Channel V and MTV watching days, when the first thing on the mind after coming back from college was to listen to the latest songs. This song is about a girl who is on a  train journey  to her hometown  and the memories she has about her lover. 
2. Barsaat: This slow number by Adnan Sami tells what it wants to tell the beloved. The longing to have someone you love next you when it rains, is beautifully expressed in this song taken from the album Kabhi to Nazar Milao (which from the trivia encylopedia starred a Mrs. India).
3. Aaoge Jab Tum: This song from Jab We Met does not have rain in the backdrop  but deals with unrequited love and the longing for the loved one to return.
4.  Bhoondon se baaatein: This song from Thakshak has a beautiful Tabu dressed in royal blue dancing in the rain. The lyrics explain what the rain is and how she wants to talk to the raindrops. 
5. Sawan Barse: This song from Dahek has Sonali Bendre and Akshay who are getting ready to meet each other and the rain comes as an obstacle in a busy city of  Mumbai. 
6.  Barso Re:  This song from Guru was a surprise with a svelte Aiswarya dancing like a peacock with the rains. 
7. Ab Ke Sawan: Set in the background of a Bengali community, this song by Shubha Mudgal celebrates love and longing across the different age groups. 
8. Hum Tum:  This song is one that brings in a feeling of nostalgia with the various fantasies that plays in the mind of the heroine. 
9. Tip Tip Barsa pani: I think the right name for a hot song was a sizzler  in the 90s and it does not surprise the viewer in the least. However, a recent version by Neha Kakkar is a beautiful rendition.
10.  Sawan Aaya Hai: This song from a completely ridiculous film Creature is about the season of monsoon. Mohabbat barsa dena tu, sawan aaya hai!

Rain

It was a day taken out of the movies- the rain, coffee and us. We had to get back to work and on an impulse, we walked in the rain. There was a couple ahead of us, with the woman covering the man’s head with the pallu of her sari. This made us laugh and I think what I thought was that my flimsy dupatta was not enough to cover you. 

I don’t think there was a magical day like that one and I couldn’t sleep a wink that night because of my new-found knowledge that I had fallen in love with you.I tried talking to you but the words did not come out and I couldn’t say anything meaningful to you. Now, looking back what I feel is that this would have ended that day had I taken some courage to say what I wanted. 

But what always happened was that I knew that we came from two different worlds of understanding and spoke in a common language only when it was necessary. The rest was all my making, an imaginary world where I was rejected and where I wrote words after words about you. What remains of a walk in the summer rain are some memories and so many words scattered across endless pages. Though these sound so immature and childish, these words were my way to get out of a habit of worshipping you like a God.

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

Fantasy

It is out of years of despair and longing to escape that this heart learnt how to give up a game even before it has really started. When the dance begins, the accumulated scars and lacks hurt and choke; they loom over what this heart really wants.

Yet the dream still remains to break free, to be one's self and not a definition, to fly out of the mazes created by the self and by others; to run deep into the heavy snow wearing the warmth of your smile around me.

This heart has always known how to be a rogue, vagabond and cheat; it has evaded its responsibilities and flown away every single time to dwell in imaginary worlds where the too bright sun can no longer burn its wings.

But this time, it needs to have enough cunning to throw pixie dust in every wandering eye, just to hold your hand and ride out on a moonlit night with you.

Twinflames

Holiday

She was already late judging by the sunlight falling on her face. Her eyes were hurting and when she checked the time, it was 7. 

These nights of work were upsetting her biological clock. But somehow she loved her deadlines and the fun in finishing work just before the stipulated time. 

She got up, washed her face and thought of a perfectly finished task was there in her mind but she might have to run it again for small errors. 

While brushing her teeth, she thought of the different options before her for breakfast. 
There were some pleasant smells coming from the kitchen. It might from from the house next door. 

In the kitchen, Akash was frying eggs and toasting bread. The whole kitchen looked a mess but on the table were placed two cups of steaming black coffee.

This was kind of a surprise and she asked,“Do you want me to do anything?”
“No, you just relax and read your newspaper”. 
“What do you want- butter or jam on your bread?”

She went close to him, put her arms around him and kissed his right ear and said  "Thank you!"

World Book Day

Earth Day

Earth, Teach Me an Ute Prayer 

Earth teach me quiet ~ as the grasses are still with new light.

Earth teach me suffering ~ as old stones suffer with memory.

Earth teach me humility ~ as blossoms are humble with beginning.

Earth teach me caring ~ as mothers nurture their young.

Earth teach me courage ~ as the tree that stands alone.

Earth teach me limitation ~ as the ant that crawls on the ground.

Earth teach me freedom ~ as the eagle that soars in the sky.

Earth teach me acceptance ~ as the leaves that die each fall.

Earth teach me renewal ~ as the seed that rises in the spring.

Earth teach me to forget myself ~ as melted snow forgets its life.

Earth teach me to remember kindness ~ as dry fields weep with rain.

Diary Excerpt of John Keats

31^st October 1819

It must be three hours past midnight and though I have been trying hard to sleep, I am wide awake as I am so excited and so possessed by a writing spree that I decided to get up from my bed and write by the light of this burning candle. For today is no ordinary day but my twenty fourth birthday and I find that I am too tired to write yet too excited to sleep. I have no other option but to get up from my bed and pour my thoughts into the blank sheets of paper before me. This has been my habit since my young days when I fell in love with the realms of imagination created by the pens of great writers such as Horace, Spenser, Dryden, Pope, Gray and Collins. I have tried my best to create a world of beauty like they have done though how much I have succeeded as a writer only my posterity can answer. For when this mortal body perishes and nothing will be left behind to say that such a spirit lived and died, my poetry would speak for me to the rest of the world.

I am too excited tonight that I cannot sleep a wink for my thoughts begin and end with my beautiful minx Fanny. Before I met her, I was just a plain young lad contented with solitude and the beauty of this natural world. The verses that I wrote extolled the virtues of a solitary life. However, the moment I saw her, my heart was seized with love and I experienced its beauty as sung by the poets. From the very first week at the house of Mr. Dilke, I realised to my surprise that my life was full of longing to be in her sweet presence and this foolish heart had become an absolute slave to her. Though she was stubborn and distant at first, later she became friendly with me when I discussed books with her. I love the way she wins arguments with me and her love is like opium to my miserable life.

For my life has always been a mixture of joys and sorrows with sorrows dominating the balance. I was miserable from an early age as my parents died quite early. The last year has been troublesome with Tom’s sickness and his untimely death. When I look back upon this last year, I think how Fanny has been a constant support to me through my personal troubles. If it were not or her, I would have died of grief! It was this last year that she turned from a beautiful minx to my only love and her sweet letters are on my table talking of her loyal love. For me, she is like a goddess, full of perfections and sweetness, to be remembered constantly as a source of loyalty and affection. Her presence in life helped me tide over the grief of Tom’s death and it inspired to compose some of the poems that I have scribbled this year. Sometimes, I wonder if I can whisk her away on a beautiful winter night like Porphyro does his Madeline and live with her till we turn old and bent.

I was reading Spenser last night and like always I want to write like him. His imagination is so powerful that he can paint pictures with words and I still remember my twenty second year when I first read him after borrowing Clarke’s copy of the Faerie Queen. I was just glancing through his copy, when I was struck by the loveliness of the diction and the images that went with it. I begged him to lend me his copy to read. That night, I was like a young horse that tasted the charms of a spring meadow. Just like the flower draws its nourishment from the soil that surrounds it, a good writer must be inspired by beautiful poetry.  When thinking of the art of poetry, one must draw inspiration from the works of great poets and create worlds of beauty where a stranger can inhabit with wonder. Writing poetry has to be natural; for one does not write for the sake of fame but because one is inspired to create a world of beauty through words. Every reader must create a beautiful world of his own so that one is guarded against the miseries of daily life that can turn the spirit weary.

It is much later that I became acquainted with the Greek epics through Chapman’s translation. Clarke recommended the book and I knew that I had to read it for his recommendations are always worthy of reading. My perspective of the world has never been the same since then as I have seen this world of delight from the ancient times. For me, the natural world is a land of comfort that can experienced through the five senses- touch, sight, hearing, smell and taste. This Earth that we inhabit is so full of mysteries and it beckons man to indulge in the pleasures that it offers. Its seasons are a delight -full of sights, smells and sounds that are inviting to me. I remember these gifts to the senses with pleasure, just like a night spent amid the intoxicating smells of flowering plants and try to recreate them with words when I sit down to write. Often, when I sit and dream, I recall the smells of ripening fruits in autumn or the glorious tints of the setting sun or the beautiful song of the nightingale and I am pleased that I have a power with words that I can bring these pictures alive to my readers as well. When I first started writing, I was just a lover of beauty but with time I have learnt that art needs to be about human sorrows and suffering too. Like a drop of water to the wearied traveller, poetry should offer solace to the humans worn out by the daily toils of life.

What worries me is whether I will live to realise my dreams as I have the same illness that my mother and Tom had. During my walks, I have been thinking seriously death. What if I were to die like my mother and Tom, sick with tuberculosis? Usually my thoughts are fully occupied by my lovely Fanny and the place she holds as a goddess in my religion of love. But in the last few days, I am preoccupied with the end of this life. How will that end come? I ask myself as my future stares me in my face and though I am fully conscious of the beauty of nature around me, my mind is beset with gloom as I wonder what will happen to Fanny!  For the last few days, I am feeling tired after a few minutes of exertion. From the signs of it, my hour of death approaches fast and I hope that I will remain brave till the last and not succumb to the despair that overpowers one when struck with the possibility of impending death. Will my words survive my death and live forever?

 

 

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