Notes to the Self

Note 1: Survival 

I have written to you erratically, forgetting the resolution I once made to write at least a page every day. I have changes waiting for me in the form of a new location, new surroundings, new people, and a new version of me that will learn how to survive. 

I do not know whether I will be able to adjust to the changes in my schedule or find it easy to speak to the people around me. I have always been an awkward social being, more comfortable in my own little world. 

But change is on its way, whether I am ready for it or not. May be this time around, I will learn how to belong not just to survive in the new world. 

Notes to the Self

Note 2: Gratitude

I am grateful for the little pleasures that make up life. Here, I am transplanted to a new place and before coming I was worried about how I will be able to survive in a new location. 

I am grateful for this beautiful place that looks like a picture out of the photo album and the shrub of neelakurinji on the wayside that has flowered after twelve years. 

I am grateful for the necessities that become visible once I search for them and for the things that are placed along the path as if by the hand of Providence. 

Notes to the Self

Note 5: Changes

I was always scared of making changes and took decisions to avoid changes in my daily schedule. However, this year has been an year of changes for me. Here, I am trying to adjust to a new locale, a new schedule and a new way of life. Sometimes, as I walk along the daily paths, my thoughts wander to the life I have left behind. 

I tell myself that I need to learn new roads, new faces and a new schedule. Though I am completely surrounded by changes and it will take sometime to get used to the new schedule, I am happy that I have learnt to accomdate them. 

Notes to the Self

Note 4
I sense an epiphany when I think of how humans have imposed a sense of time over the endless days on this planet. Time stretches across changing seasons, nights and days, while humans measure it by the calendar and the clock.

I feel grateful for the hours gained in activities that make me forget time. I feel most alive when I am thrown into a world of complete absorption, where the clock seems to disappear and I lose myself in the moment. I emerge from those hours feeling rested and grateful. May be living is about spending your time wisely but also losing your sense of time.