Saturday, February 19, 2022

Sensitive old soul


You are no longer young and this shows in your bones and how you carry yourself. You do not belong to those who are family nor to any group of friends or community or religious group.

You are like the primeval amoeba floating in the sea of life waiting to meet someone exactly like you. Your thoughts are strange and your actions even more strange, especially to others who do  not understand the language of your world.

You have reached a point where you cannot bear it any longer and all you want is to transmigrate to another form of life that will make you forget all this uniqueness. 

Friday, February 18, 2022

Gratitude

Walking meditation

The storm

My garden

Oneness

Live in the moment

Open mind

The road

Miracles

Gardening

Giving

Arranging flowers

For a sapling

Sunday, February 13, 2022

Blog withdrawn

Blog withdrawn 

From your Valentine

The rose is red, the violet's blue,
The honey's sweet, and so are you.
Thou art my love and I am thine;
I drew thee to my Valentine:
The lot was cast and then I drew,
And Fortune said it shou'd be you.

Saturday, December 11, 2021

Mehndi



Every time I put henna on my hands I hum that song
Where I write your name on the palm of my hand,
Hidden in the intricate shapes, curves and designs
The story of the day we met or the day we spoke.

We have walked countless times around the fire
We have uttered so many different sacred chants
Of holding a bond so close just by keeping it safe
Deeply tied to the sense of our sacred silences.

We have celebrated in rhymes, absences felt,
The emotions that run wild and the colours
We have sang of the endless days we wandered
Listlessly, aimlessly and perfectly in silence.

Yet when I put mehndi on these hands of mine,
You smell them, as if it’s our first time together.

Friday, December 10, 2021

Diary of a female quixote

Dear Sean,

The summer we had together is the most perfect part of my life history. I cannot recall anyday or any hour with more clarity though with the passing years I have lost control over my memory. Yet, the days with you stand out clearly etched against the monotony of this latter life and I remember how you were like magic to me. Your ways with words and your gentleness were additions to this quiet magic of sweeping off my feet time and again.

Yours truly
Berry

Friday, December 03, 2021

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters






Alohari Anandam


“Remember the Frenchman who asked his grandmother at what age we get free from the temptations of love. The old woman said she didn't know” The Doctor’s Dilemma, GB Shaw.
Sarah Joseph’s Alohari Anandam ( Per Capita Happiness) explores the winds of change that perplexes and confuses a Syrian Christian family in Kerala. Published in 2013, the novel deals with controversial themes such as loveless marriages, marriage of senior citizens and lesbianism. Joseph’s characters liberate themselves once the yoke that they carry become too much for them. 

Emma and John Mathai are the senior citizens who decide to get married with the support of the young generation and Paul. The typical reaction to a couple who decides to get married so late- a widower and a spinster- are jokes laden with obscene humour. However, Joseph treats the theme with much sensitivity and her Emma is a lovely bride who rejects all makeup and finery on her wedding day that her niece Ishana has designed for her. 

Ishana is the designer in the family who runs a funeral parlour and a beauty parlour. Joseph satirises the way in which all church rituals have become focused on clothes, jewellery and the aesthetics involved. On the occasion of a baptism, Ishana’s thoughts are entirely on the stone-vessel that she chose for pouring the water. She represents the new generation who sees marriage as a trap set to limit individual freedom. 

The lovers in the novel Paul and Anu carry the burdens of their marriages. Paul is married to Teresa, a lesbian who is forced to marry him. Anu struggles to bear the weight of her loveless marriage with Cherian. When the idealistic Paul meets the dreamer Anu, they feel a strange comfort and are drawn towards the lovelight that they see in each other’s eyes. As Paul says:

“There are people who become happy with the little that they have...both among men and women. Not just that, the majority is like that. They try to unravel the knots of this world. Small achievements make them happy. Small losses hurt them a lot. Their longings for love are of a shallow nature. But there are people who seek themselves in their mates. They need a life of deep love. For them, marriage is a failure, if the lover doesn’t complement their mind, body, intellect and emotions. It is not necessary to have such a relationship within marriage and that’s when you seek another relationship” (Free Translation). 

Joseph's novel Alohari Anandam, celebrates the joy of living and individualism. Through her beautiful and lyrical evocation of the Song of Songs, she recreates love as a Garden of Eden shared by those who want to experience the happiness of being fully alive, emotionally, spiritually and physically. 


The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

The Unsent Letters

Green Thumb

Dreams in Prussian Blue


Dreams in Prussian Blue

Dreams in Prussian Blue (2010), a popular novel by Paritosh Uttam captures the life of some Fine Arts students in Mumbai. The film portrays how love blossoms between Naina and Michael and how they decide to come together in life despite of obstacles that lie in their love's path.

Naina Trivedi, a fresher at Fine Arts College meets Michael Agnelo and his friends Abhinav and Ruchi. Michael’s passion for painting and his charisma sweep her off her feet and she realizes that she has fallen in love with him. To the dismay of her conservative Brahmin family, she leaves home to have a live-in relationship with Michael. The initial plan is that she will write and he will paint. But when they start living together, the responsibility of running the household falls on Naina as Michael does only what he is promised to do- to paint and nothing else.

Caught up in a situation from which there is no turning back, she creates a website for his paintings and calls prospective buyers and art galleries. Michael refuses to turn up for one such meeting with the owner of an art gallery and Naina calls and threatens him with a break-up. Unfortunately, Nicheal meets with an accident on the way and loses his eyesight. It is Abhinav who helps her with the bills and with Michael.

Abhinav and Ruchi live the middle class dream of a secure job, a posh apartment, plans for starting a family and having a car. Naina is distraught that Michael who used to be the best of all has come to nothing while the others are thriving. Inspite of his blindness, Michael continues to paint and she has to work hard to pay the rent and buy new canvases and paints. Abhinav advises her to give Michael used canvases and gives her a box of Prussian Blue that was there at his house.

Michael finishes 24 pictures that depict the history of painting and his exhibition draws people because of the publicity that is given to his blindness. However, Abhinav’s deceit does not stop with the Prussian Blue and Naina is caught up in a fix because of her love for Michael and gratitude for Abhinav. Will she be able to fix her strained relationship with Michael?

#artistfilm
#paritoshuttam
#dreamsinprussianblue
#maritalinfidelity
#adaptation

Positive Affirmations

In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole, and complete. The past has no power over me because I am willing to learn and to change. I see the past as necessary to bring me to where I am today I am willing to begin where I am right now
to clean the rooms of my mental house. I know it does not matter where I start, so I now begin with the smallest and the easiest rooms, and in that I will see results quickly. way I am thrilled to be in the middle of this adventure, for I know I will never go through this particular experience again.

I am willing to set myself free.All is well in my world.

ON TALKING from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran


And then a scholar said, Speak of Talking.

And he answered, saying:

You talk when you cease to be at peace with your thoughts;

And when you can no longer dwell in the solitude of your heart you live in your lips, and sound is a diversion and a pastime.

And in much of your talking, thinking is half murdered.

For thought is a bird of space, that in a cage of words may indeed unfold its wings but cannot fly.

There are those among you who seek the talkative through fear of being alone.

The silence of aloneness reveals to their eyes their naked selves and they would escape.

And there are those who talk, and without knowledge or forethought reveal a truth which they themselves do not understand.

And there are those who have the truth within them, but they tell it not in words.

In the bosom of such as these the spirit dwells in rhythmic silence.

When you meet your friend on the roadside or in the market place, let the spirit in you move your lips and direct your tongue.

Let the voice within your voice speak to the ear of his ear;

For his soul will keep the truth of your heart as the taste of the wine is remembered when the colour is forgotten and the vessel is no more.

¶p

Abhimanyu


It is because my mother slept off while my father was explaining the war secrets of breaking a chakravyuha, that I was born without complete knowledge of the code. I wanted to be like my father and to fight valiantly like him. Yet,when surrounded by the mighty enemies within the chakravyuha, what I felt is that I do not have anyone and that I have to fend off the enemies till the moment I breathe my last. So, no giving up the fight till this breath becomes part of the world of souls. 




Happy Dhanteras

The Unsent Letters

Maa Tujhe Salaam

The Parable of the Mustard Seed

Kisa had a baby but the baby died
Goes to the villagers says my baby’s sick
The villagers shake their heads and say to her
Better bury your baby in the forest quick

Kisa went to the mountain to ask the Buddha
My baby’s sick! Buddha said, don’t cry
Go to each house and collect a mustard seed
But only from a house where no one has died

Kisa went to each house in the village
My baby’s getting sicker, poor Kisa cried
But Kisa never collected one mustard seed
Because in every house someone who died

Kisa sat down in the old village square
She hugged her baby and she cried and cried
She said everybody is always losing somebody
Then walked into the forest and buried her child


Recompense







For every word of harshness that you hear,
You have a word of love to cure the heart;
For the darkest hours of a wakeful night,
You have a beautiful dawn to shine bright.
For the loss of innocence of childhood,
There is the growing maturity of years.
For the loss of a life near river green,
There is lot more sunshine to balance.
For the trenches that this life fell into
There are the new scales that it climbs.
For the years lost in search of dreams,
There are these words on a virtual page.
Which brings in daily strange comfort,
For every friend lost, that of strangers.

patience and time

Terminator 2

The Unsent Letters

Dear Sean
After you, I never thought I would love again. For I was quite naive when I met you and fell in love with you. In the long years we were together, I never thought of a life without you. Each and every thought was spent in how to make life more worth living with you. After you, I knew the pain of not being able to getting close to anyone, the insecurity that comes from not being able to trust anyone completely and the angst of existing yet not living. I thought of telling you this day, when we would have celebrated our anniversary of togetherness had we been together.

Love
Berry

Friends Forever

Desiderata

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Akashdeep

Sunny


Sunny:A Review 

I think it is quite fitting that the Corona times require a story that is inward drawn and focuses on the tribulations of a single character. Reflective of the times that is quite marked by social isolation despite of high social media use and attempts to while away the slow-paced time, Sunny focuses on the landscapes of the cloistered Corona life. 

In the initial part, the story poignantly captures the despair and angst in the life of the protagonist Sunny. His addiction to alcohol is clearly drawn, so is his slight mental imbalance, which had become very common in these times of social isolation. He struggles to see another day during his quarantine at Hyatt Hotel in Cochin. 

There is despair as well as hope as he tries to speak to the police inspector, to the girl who stays on the floor above his or the psychologist that the police inspector recommends. An interesting scene is where he feeds sugar to the ant slightly reminiscent of Katherine Mansfield's The Fly, where however the protagonist kills the fly just for fun. His isolation compels him to come to terms with himself and to face life courageosly. However, what is striking is the message of hope that is given inspite of the ordeals faced by the protagonist to come to terms with his alienation.

Journal: Serious and Trivial

The pages of my journal await to record a few thoughts. These could serious, trivial or even a mixture of both just like life. All these ram...