The morning is only hours away and the need to see her has become so
strong almost like hunger or pain. The first time I saw her she was so fragile
and sick. Those days, I was not a prisoner as I am today. I was a priest who
was condemned to exile for marrying off young lovers. When I was sent to live
in the prison under Asterius, I took all my belongings- my books of learning,
my secret potions and even my Arabian horses.
I was taken to the bedchamber of the sick girl. There was a smell of
decay in that room and when I looked at her closely, she was a frail creature
with huge eyes and a feverish look. But on speaking to her, I felt that her
eyes had lost their focus and she was unable to see me. Then I remembered the
recipe for a herbal potion that I have read of and my next few days were spent
in preparation of that cure for her illness.
My first suggestion was a change of her rooms to somewhere with more
light and sunshine. She was given a room on the Eastern side of the castle. For
days together, she was my sole thought, my reason to be, the only delight in a
confusing world of high ideals and disillusionment. I was at her side,
observing her and how she became better day by day.
My room was on the Western side but every now and then, I would cross
the yard to come and see her. There was a strange delight in being responsible
for a person’s well-being. Then, I remember the day when she opened her eyes
and saw me. She mumbled some words of recognition at her mother who stood by
her. When her father visited her, she was at a loss for words.
There at times, when I wonder, had I been a layman and not a priest, I
would have loved this girl who said my name Valentinus quietly and
deliberately. She did not address me as “father” like the girls in my church
nor did she give much thought to the fact that I was a priest. May be she knew
what Emperor Claudius had in mind.
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